Since it was a longish layover, Terri suggested that they go up to the observation deck, where they could watch the take-offs and landings, and where she knew there were about a dozen wooden rocking chairs. Reluctantly, Kyle agreed.
After only three rocks Kyle felt the urge to thank Terri. "Good idea, Terri. Thank you."
She smiled. They rocked a while.
Kyle spoke. "I wonder how we got here," he said.
"You mean…" Terri left it open.
"You know, shipping it when we knew it was a mess. This trip is so predictable, so unnecessary."
"Yeah. But we really didn't have a choice."
Perhaps. It does happen. Or perhaps they didn't want to have a choice.
Choosing from alternatives that cause discomfort or anxiety can make life complex. Often, we're more comfortable with limited options, even though later we might regret having chosen one of them.
Here are just a few of the reasons why we limit our own choices.
- Difficult choices can cause
discomfort. Sometimes, we'd
rather not have a choice.We're afraid of — or can't discuss — some of the unspoken choices. For instance, even though canceling a troubled project is always a choice, we seldom consider cancellation. See "Workplace Taboos and Change," Point Lookout for February 26, 2003.
- It's my football
- Those controlling the decision process have a favored option, which is already on the table. They don't want to develop more options.
- It's their football
- The options we already have include one that would please those who finally approve our choice. We converge on the one we think they want.
- Fear of success
- We prefer to go with what we know, rather than take risks that might lead to something better. Virginia Satir captured this situation when she said, "People prefer the familiar to the comfortable."
- Trips to Abilene
- We're all so careful to avoid rocking the boat that we end up rowing in a direction nobody wants to go. This is one form of a dynamic called "a trip to Abilene." See "Trips to Abilene," Point Lookout for November 27, 2002.
Noticing that we're avoiding uncomfortable choices can be difficult. Here are some of the phrases we hear when we're limiting our own choices.
- We're forced to
- You leave me no choice
- It's in God's hands now
- They made me do it
- I don't know what else to do; I see no other way
- I had no choice
- I couldn't help it
- It's our only option
- We're out of moves (options)
- We have only one real choice
- We're between a rock and a hard place
- Our hands are tied
- Beggars can't be choosers
- We have to bite the bullet
- There's only one way to do this
- Here's what we have to do
- I'll go along with whatever you decide
- If you say so…you're the expert.
- It doesn't make any difference — we lose either way
- Been there, done that
- We tried that last time
If you notice this happening, what can you do about it? We'll look at that next time.
Are your projects always (or almost always) late and over budget? Are your project teams plagued by turnover, burnout, and high defect rates? Turn your culture around. Read 52 Tips for Leaders of Project-Oriented Organizations, filled with tips and techniques for organizational leaders. Order Now!
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More articles on Personal, Team, and Organizational Effectiveness:
- Help for Asking for Help
- When we ask for help, from peers or from those with organizational power, we have some choices. How
we go about it can determine whether we get the help we need, in time for the help to help.
- Email Antics: I
- Nearly everyone I know complains that email is a time waster. Yet much of the problem results from our
own actions. If you're looking around for some New Year's resolutions to make, here are some ideas,
in this Part I of a little catalog of things we do that help waste our time.
- Assumptions and the Johari Window: II
- The roots of both creative and destructive conflict can often be traced to the differing assumptions
of the parties to the conflict. Here's Part II of an essay on surfacing these differences using a tool
called the Johari window.
- Wacky Words of Wisdom: II
- Words of wisdom are so often helpful that many of them have solidified into easily remembered capsules.
And that's where the trouble begins. We remember them too easily and we apply them too liberally. Here's
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- Deciding to Change: Trusting
- When organizations change by choice, people who are included in the decision process understand the
issues. Whether they agree with the decision or not, they participate in the decision in some way. But
not everyone is included in the process. What about those who are excluded?
Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout
- Coming May 24: Unresponsive Suppliers: II
- When a project depends on external suppliers for some tasks and materials, supplier performance can affect our ability to meet deadlines. How can communication help us get what we need from unresponsive suppliers? Available here and by RSS on May 24.
- And on May 31: Unresponsive Suppliers: III
- When suppliers have a customer orientation, we can usually depend on them. But government suppliers are a special case. Available here and by RSS on May 31.
I offer email and telephone coaching at both corporate and individual rates. Contact Rick for details at rbrenhXfMEPFxyjQtmbhXner@ChacXGCcIbyUvrnosFjnoCanyon.com or (617) 491-6289, or toll-free in the continental US at (866) 378-5470.
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- Changing How We Change: The Essence of Agility
- Mastery of the ability to adapt to unpredictable and changing
circumstances is one way of understanding the success of Agile methodologies for product development.
Applying the principles of Change Mastery, we can provide the analogous benefits in a larger arena.
By exploring strategies and tactics for enhancing both the resilience and adaptability of projects and
portfolios, we show why agile methodologies are so powerful, and how to extend them beyond product development
to efforts of all kinds. Read more about this program.
Here's an upcoming date for this program:
- Holiday Inn I-64 West End,
2000 Staples Mill Road, Richmond, VA 23230: May 17,
Monthly Meeting, Central Virginia Chapter of The Project Management Institute. Register now.
- Holiday Inn I-64 West End, 2000 Staples Mill Road, Richmond, VA 23230: May 17, Monthly Meeting, Central Virginia Chapter of The Project Management Institute. Register now.
- Creating High Performance Virtual Teams
- Many people experience virtual teams as awkward, slow, and sometimes
frustrating. Even when most team members hail from the same nation or culture, and even when they all
speak the same language, geographic dispersion or the presence of employees from multiple enterprises
is often enough to exclude all possibility of high performance. The problem is that we lead, manage,
and support virtual teams in ways that are too much like the way we lead, manage, and support co-located
teams. In this program, Rick Brenner shows you how to change your approach to leading, managing, and
supporting virtual teams to achieve high performance using Simons' Four Spans model of high performance.
Read more about this program. Here's an upcoming date
for this program:
- Baci Grill, 134 Berlin
Road, Berlin, CT 06416: September 19,
Monthly Meeting, Southern New England Chapter of the Project Management Institute. Register now.
- Baci Grill, 134 Berlin Road, Berlin, CT 06416: September 19, Monthly Meeting, Southern New England Chapter of the Project Management Institute. Register now.
- The Race to the South Pole: Ten Lessons for Project Managers
- On 14 December 1911, four men led by Roald
Amundsen reached the South Pole. Thirty-five days later, Robert F. Scott and four others followed. Amundsen
had won the race to the pole. Amundsen's party returned to base on 26 January 1912. Scott's party perished.
As historical drama, why this happened is interesting enough, but to organizational leaders, business
analysts, project sponsors, and project managers, the story is fascinating. Lessons abound. Read
more about this program. Here's an upcoming date for this program:
- CTCPA, 716 Brook Street,
Rocky Hill, CT 06067: September 20,
Full-day Workshop, Southern New England Chapter of the Project Management Institute. Register now.
- CTCPA, 716 Brook Street, Rocky Hill, CT 06067: September 20, Full-day Workshop, Southern New England Chapter of the Project Management Institute. Register now.