| August 10, 2005 | Volume 5, Issue 32 |
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by Rick Brenner
How we deal with adversity can make the difference between happiness and something else. And how we deal with adversity depends on how we see it.
ear the end of his life, my Dad endured many of the maladies of old age — and steadily progressing Multiple Sclerosis. He didn't talk much about it, except when someone said, "Hi, how are you?" which was pretty often, because that's how we say hello around here.
He had many stock answers for "Hi, how are you." One was, "Some days good, other days (pause) better!" He would deliver this line with perfect timing and an infectious smile, and when the laugh came, he'd join in.
Another favorite answer of his for "Hi how are you" was, "Well, that depends...how much time do you have?" Always with the infectious smile.
He never kept track of who'd heard which line before. But even if you'd heard a line dozens of times, his smile made it impossible not to laugh.
He had a name for his afflictions — the debilitating arthritis, the muscles that no longer worked, the phantom pains, and so on. He called them "bonuses." When I first heard him describe his arthritis as a "bonus," I got curious.
Me: Dad. Why do you call the arthritis a 'bonus?' What do you mean by 'bonus?'
Dad: Well, son, I'm glad you asked...
Me (not aloud, of course): Uh-oh.
Dad (continuing): A bonus is something you didn't ask for, something extra, something you can live without. (pause)
Me: Yeah...
Dad: And this arthritis, I can definitely live without.
Ba-dum-bum.
Bonuses are
part of LifeBonuses are part of Life. How we deal with them makes the difference between a happy life and something else. Here are some thoughts about dealing with bonuses.
Whenever I receive a bonus, I eventually remember that it's an opportunity to practice dealing with bonuses. Even though I still have a lot to learn, I'm getting better at it, because long ago I received a bonus in the more conventional sense — in the form of my Dad. Maybe you received a bonus too.
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