In the modern organization, since direct verbal insults are considered "over the line," we've developed a variety of alternatives, including a class I call "dismissive gestures." They hurt personally, and they harm the effectiveness of the organization. Here's Part II of a little catalog of dismissive gestures.
ismissive gestures are often tactics for expressing status, consolidating control, or displaying power. As such, their users seek to influence the perceptions of a larger number of people beyond the target — usually the witnesses.
Humans aren't the only species that communicates by facial expressions. Photo of monkey in Bali, by Shawn Allen. Photo of James Randi, courtesy James Randi Educational Foundation.
When used intentionally in this way, these techniques are coercive to varying degrees, because they achieve the desired effect not by eliciting admiration or affection, but rather through fear or intimidation. And when fear or intimidation is the goal, it's always possible that the user of the gesture actually feels fearful or intimidated, too. If you can keep that possibility in mind when you encounter a frequent user, you can more easily manage your own responses to the gestures.
Looking upward, as if to Heaven, communicates, "Spare me!" Sometimes this is combined with hands placed palm-to-palm, fingers pointing upward, in the prayer position; with eye-rolling; with a vocalization, "Puh-lease...;" or with the mouthing of words.
Throw me a lifeline
Breaking eye contact by closing the lids and turning away to look at someone else can be a plea for a lifeline. Breaking eye contact in itself isn't necessarily dismissive. But turning to look at another, even expressionlessly, can communicate, "Please help me out of this or at least vaporize this guy."
Dropping a bag of garbage
Dropping a report from an excessive height says, "This is a package of something foul." The greater the height, the greater the effect. For extra zing, raise it up before dropping it, or perform the whole action over a wastebasket.
Counting your fingers
Looking at one's hand after a handshake communicates distrust. It suggests that your partner's hand might have been dirty, or that you're counting your fingers to check that none have been stolen.
Engaging in sidebar conversation
In meetings, sidebars are always a little impolite, but the expression of disdain escalates with the volume of the sidebar exchange. Sidebar laughing is especially corrosive.
Asynchronous head shaking
Shaking the head "No," is OK if you're asked a question and the answer is No. But shaking the head while the other is talking can feel to the speaker like an interruption saying, "You're out of your mind."
Dismissive gestures vary from culture to culture
Talking while departing
Continuing to talk to someone while turning and walking away, especially if you're saying something the recipient doesn't want to hear, prevents a response. It says, "Whatever you have to say about this is of no interest to me." Extra points for walking into an elevator and having the doors close at exactly the right time.
Dismissive gestures vary from culture to culture, and since every organization has its own microculture, people in your organization probably have some unique dismissive gestures. To see them, you have to look. More next time. TopNext Issue
For more on gestures of all kinds, take a look at Field Guide to Gestures, by Nancy Armstrong and Melissa Wagner. It's complete with full-color illustrations.
Are you fed up with tense, explosive meetings? Are you or a colleague the target of a bully? Destructive conflict can ruin organizations. But if we believe that all conflict is destructive, and that we can somehow eliminate conflict, or that conflict is an enemy of productivity, then we're in conflict with Conflict itself. Read 101 Tips for Managing Conflict to learn how to make peace with conflict and make it an organizational asset. Order Now!
We often think about "playing the game" — either with relish or repugnance. Whatever your level of skill or interest, you'll do better if you see workplace politics as it is. It is not a game.
The Three-Legged Race is a tactic that some managers use to avoid giving one person new authority. Some of the more cynical among us use it to sabotage projects or even careers. How can you survive a three-legged race?
If you're a manager who micromanages, you're probably trying as best you can to help your organization meet its responsibilities. Still, you might feel that people are unhappy — that whatever you're doing isn't working. There is another way.
Cutouts are people or procedures that enable political operators to communicate in safety. Using cutouts, operators can manipulate their environments while limiting their personal risk. How can you detect cutouts? And what can you do about them?
Many conversations follow identifiable patterns. Recognizing those patterns, and preparing yourself to deal with them, can keep you out of trouble and make you more effective and influential.
I offer email and telephone coaching at both corporate and individual rates.
Contact me for details at rbrenner@ChacoCanyon.com
or (617) 491-6289, or toll-free in the continental US at (866) 378-5470.
Get the e-book!
Past issues of Point Lookout are available in four e-books:
Are you a writer, editor or publisher on deadline?
Are you looking for an article that will get people talking and get compliments flying your way? You can have 500 words in your inbox in one hour. License any article from this Web site. More info
Public seminars
Person-to-Person Communication for Project Managers
When we talk, listen, send or read emails, read or write memos, or when we leave or listen to voice mail messages, we're communicating person-to-person. And whenever we communicate person-to-person, we risk being misunderstood, offending others, feeling hurt, and being confused. There are so many ways for things to go wrong that we could never learn how to fix all the problems. A more effective approach avoids problems altogether, or at least minimizes their occurrence. In this very interactive program you'll learn a model of inter-personal communications that can help you stay out of the ditch. In those moments of intense involvement, when we're most likely to slip, you'll have a new tool to use to keep things constructive. Read more about this program. Here are some upcoming dates for this program:
Organizational Politics for People Who Hate Politics
Have you ever felt powerless to implement an important new idea? Have you ever been "blind-sided" at a meeting? Have you ever lost two good employees because you could find no way to keep them from attacking each other? These are some of the issues of organizational politics. Many of us have become enmeshed in them from time to time, but we've also known some people who seem to be able to engage and prosper. How is that done? We'll inventory the challenges of organizational politics, and provide tools for anticipating and addressing them. The focus of this program is practical — attendees learn concrete techniques for dealing with the problems that arise in workplace politics, while keeping their integrity intact. Read more about this program. Here are some upcoming dates for this program:
Managing global or dispersed teams is challenging — miscommunications, misunderstandings, and interpersonal conflict all thrive in the typical environment of the distributed team. And they're even more common in global teams, because of time-zone offsets and language and cultural differences. We'll inventory the challenges distributed and global teams face, and provide tools for anticipating and addressing them. The focus of this program is practical — attendees will learn concrete techniques for preventing and dealing with the problems that accompany global and distributed teams. Read more about this program. Here are some upcoming dates for this program:
The Politics of Meetings for People Who Hate Politics
There's a lot more to running an effective meeting than having the right room, the right equipment, and the right people. With meetings, the whole really is more than the sum of its parts. How the parts interact with each other and with external elements is as important as the parts themselves. And those interactions are the essence of politics for meetings. This program explores techniques for leading meetings that are based on understanding political interactions, and using that knowledge effectively to meet organizational goals. Read more about this program. Here's an upcoming date for this program:
Projects never go quite as planned. We expect that, but we don't expect disaster. How can we get better at spotting disaster when there's still time to prevent it? How to Spot a Troubled Project Before the Trouble Starts is filled with tips for executives, senior managers, managers of project managers, and sponsors of projects in project-oriented organizations. Check it out!
The key to managing virtual or global teams is creating a sense of team despite the obstacles of separation. Read my tips booklet, 303 Tips for Virtual and Global Teams, to learn how to make your virtual global team sing. Newly revised and updated for 2008! Check it out!
Are you doing work you love? Are you less in love with the job? Bad boss, long commute, troubling ethical questions, hateful colleague? Read Go For It! Sometimes It's Easier If You Run to learn what we can do when we love the work but not the job. It helps you get moving again!
The key to managing virtual or global teams is creating a sense of team despite the obstacles of separation. Read my tips booklet, 303 Tips for Virtual and Global Teams, to learn how to make your virtual global team sing. Newly revised and updated for 2008! Check it out!
Are you managing a change effort that faces rampant cynicism, passive non-cooperation, or maybe even outright revolt? Read 101 Tips for Managing Change to learn how to plan and execute your change efforts to inspire real, passionate support. Check it out!
A Tip a Day arrives by email each business day. It's 20 to 30 words at most, and gives you a new perspective on the hassles and rewards of work life. Most tips also contain links to related articles. Free!
Do you ever wonder if all these meetings are really necessary? (They aren't) Or whether there isn't some better way to get this work done? (There is) Read 101 Tips for Effective Meetings to learn how to make meetings more productive — and more rare. Check it out!
Exchange your "personal trade secrets" — the tips, tricks and techniques that make you an ace — with other aces, anonymously. Visit the Library of Personal Trade Secrets.
ismissive gestures are often tactics for expressing status, consolidating control, or displaying power. As such, their users seek to influence the perceptions of a larger number of people beyond the target — usually the witnesses.
Top 
Next IssueFor more on gestures of all kinds, take a look at Field Guide to Gestures, by Nancy Armstrong and Melissa Wagner. It's complete with full-color illustrations.
Are you fed up with tense, explosive meetings? Are you or a colleague the target of a bully? Destructive conflict can ruin organizations. But if we believe that all conflict is destructive, and that we can somehow eliminate conflict, or that conflict is an enemy of productivity, then we're in conflict with Conflict itself. Read 101 Tips for Managing Conflict to learn how to make peace with conflict and make it an organizational asset. Order Now!
Workplace Politics Is Not a Game
Devious Political Tactics: The Three-Legged Race
There Are No Micromanagers
Devious Political Tactics: Cutouts
Patterns of Everyday Conversation
Download to
Projects never go quite as planned. We expect that, but we don't expect disaster. How can we get better at spotting disaster when there's still time to prevent it? How to Spot a Troubled Project Before the Trouble Starts is filled with tips for executives, senior managers, managers of project managers, and sponsors of projects in project-oriented organizations. Check it out!
The key to managing virtual or global teams is creating a sense of team despite the obstacles of separation. Read my tips booklet, 303 Tips for Virtual and Global Teams, to learn how to make your virtual global team sing. Newly revised and updated for 2008! Check it out!
add value to your Web sites quickly and easily. Pick up the HTML to link to this article in a choice of formats.
Are you doing work you love? Are you less in love with the job? Bad boss, long commute, troubling ethical questions, hateful colleague? Read Go For It! Sometimes It's Easier If You Run to learn what we can do when we love the work but not the job. It helps you get moving again!
Are you managing a change effort that faces rampant cynicism, passive non-cooperation, or maybe even outright revolt? Read 101 Tips for Managing Change to learn how to plan and execute your change efforts to inspire real, passionate support. Check it out!
A Tip a Day arrives by email each business day. It's 20 to 30 words at most, and gives you a new perspective on the hassles and rewards of work life. Most tips also contain links to related articles. Free!
Do you ever wonder if all these meetings are really necessary? (They aren't) Or whether there isn't some better way to get this work done? (There is) Read 101 Tips for Effective Meetings to learn how to make meetings more productive — and more rare. Check it out!
