Some decisions are difficult because they trigger us emotionally. They involve conflicts of interest, yielding to undesirable realities, or possibly pain and suffering for the deciders or for others. How can we make these emotionally difficult decisions with greater clarity and better outcomes?
hen deciding is easy, we decide so quickly that we hardly notice we've made a decision. When we identify an activity as a decision, we usually do so because the deciding part is hard. That might be why so many "decisions" seem difficult.
Sometimes, when a decision is difficult, the source of the difficulty lies beyond the issue itself. Here are some situations that can make deciding difficult.
Archibald Cox, when he was Solicitor General at the U.S. Department of Justice, in the Kennedy Administration. A former law student of his, Attorney General Elliot Richardson, later appointed him Watergate Special Prosecutor. On July 23, 1973, Cox subpoenaed the tapes of presidential conversations that had been previously revealed in the ongoing Senate investigation. After various attempts to work around the subpoena, President Nixon on October 19 ordered Richardson to fire Cox, but Richardson refused and resigned in protest, as did his second-in-command, William Ruckleshaus. The third in line at the Justice Department, Robert Bork, then agreed to dismiss Cox. Richardson, Ruckleshaus and Bork all faced difficult decisions. Unable to find an ethical path that aligned with Nixon's order, Richardson and Ruckleshaus chose to stand aside. History is probably still evaluating the three men's decisions, but for now, it is looking more kindly on the choice Richardson and Ruckleshaus made. Few of us face choices of historical consequence, but we do have to live with the choices we make. May you always make choices that you can live with, and easily. Photo courtesy U.S. Department of Justice.
Personal conflicts of interest
Whether the decision has personal consequences for the decider or for another, concerns about conflicts of interest can make deciding difficult. We worry about accusations of vendetta, revenge, favoritism or corruption, even as we struggle to find an ethical path.
If you can take the personal consequences out of the decision, the decision itself is usually clear. The real problem then becomes dealing with those personal consequences. If you can't find a way to separate out those consequences, perhaps you aren't the person who ought to be making that decision.
Organizational conflicts of interest
Sometimes the conflict of interest arises from your affiliation with an organizational element, or a history of toxic conflict between your organizational element and others.
The effects of organizational conflicts of interest are similar to those of personal conflicts of interest, though they're usually less intense. It's usually best to either find a way to don the statesman's hat, taking the part of the whole organization, or stand aside.
All your choices are bad
Even when all your choices are bad, the deciding usually isn't the hard part. The challenges are accepting that there is no good outcome, and learning to live with whatever ickiness you chose.
Before you make the decision, be certain that you've examined all the possible choices. Abandon dogma and cherished beliefs to expand the range of choices you're willing to think about. Once you've done that, even if you uncover no good solution, acceptance of the least undesirable outcome is a little easier.
When we're confused about the source of the difficulty in making a decision, we struggle with the decision itself, When all your choices are bad, the deciding usually isn't the hard part. The challenge is accepting that there is no good outcome.and that isn't as likely to produce a viable outcome. It's usually best to determine what the problem is first. Solving something else is less likely to lead to a solution.
Once we understand the source of difficulty, the decision itself can suddenly become clear. We then know what choice to make, and the problem then becomes figuring out how to deal with the consequences of that choice.
Watch for a chance to observe a group struggling with a tough decision. Is the decision itself the source of the difficulty, or does the difficulty arise from the consequences of the decision? When the difficulty does lie elsewhere, how can you help? TopNext Issue
Are your projects always (or almost always) late and over budget? Are your project teams plagued by turnover, burnout, and high defect rates? Turn your culture around. Read 52 Tips for Leaders of Project-Oriented Organizations, filled with tips and techniques for organizational leaders. Order Now!
You're at lunch with one of your buddies, who's obviously upset. You ask why. "You have to promise not to tell a soul," is the response. You promise. And there the trouble begins.
In the project context, we need to know that whatever we're hearing from colleagues is the truth as they see it. Yet, sometimes we shade the truth, or omit important details. Here's a list of some of the advantages of telling the truth.
A reader wrote recently of wanting to learn "to effectively participate in office politics without compromising my integrity." It sometimes seems that those who succeed in workplace politics must know how to descend to the blackest depths, and still sleep at night. Must we abandon our integrity to participate in workplace politics?
When organizations go astray ethically, and their misdeeds come to light, people feel shocked, as if they've been swept up by a tornado. But ethical storms do have warning signs. Can you recognize them?
However ethical you might be, you can't control the ethics of others. Can you tell when someone knowingly tries to mislead you? Here's Part I of a catalog of techniques misleaders use.
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Organizational Politics for People Who Hate Politics
Have you ever felt powerless to implement an important new idea? Have you ever been "blind-sided" at a meeting? Have you ever lost two good employees because you could find no way to keep them from attacking each other? These are some of the issues of organizational politics. Many of us have become enmeshed in them from time to time, but we've also known some people who seem to be able to engage and prosper. How is that done? We'll inventory the challenges of organizational politics, and provide tools for anticipating and addressing them. The focus of this program is practical — attendees learn concrete techniques for dealing with the problems that arise in workplace politics, while keeping their integrity intact. Read more about this program. Here are some upcoming dates for this program:
Adopting agile approaches to software development carries risk. If you've discovered some of the problems for yourself, or if you've heard horror stories from others, you know some of the risks. This session explores the nature of the risks of agile adoption. We'll explore the top three risk factors that tangle agile initiatives, and examine relevant mitigation strategies. Most organizations err by starting with training. A more constructive approach with faster return on investment is organic agile capability development. We'll discuss how you can grow organizational agile capability organically by balancing training, coaching and restructuring. Faulty or misleading agile capability indicators are a second pitfall. Although there is no standard measure of agility yet, we'll show you how to focus on what matters to your business to achieve the full promise of agile methods. Finally, we'll explore the importance of measurement methodology and how you set up expectations around budget and schedule targets. By looking at what has gone wrong in agile adoption initiatives, we'll help you prevent the foreseeable problems, and mitigate the risks of the unforeseeable ones. With Nancy Van Schooenderwoert. Here's an upcoming date for this program:
Most of us can assess technological risks, but risks related to human behavior tend to resist our best efforts. This session provides a framework for evaluating risks related to the behavior of individuals, teams, organizations and people generally. Human-centered risk differs from technological or market risk, because objective evaluation requires acknowledging personal and organizational limitations and failures. Since some of those limitations and failures might apply to the people assessing the risks, or to their superiors, there's a tendency to deny them or to explain them away. Our approach examines capability, organization, context, risk mitigation, and workplace politics. It has tools for guiding the assessment and management of human-centered risk, and we show how to extend these tools to suit your situation. You'll learn how to identify sources of risk in human behavior; recognize systemic and individual barriers to acknowledging risk; assess the effects of organizational turbulence; determine the risk associated with inappropriate internal risk transfer; estimate the effects of team dysfunction, toxic conflict and turnover; and measure the impact of workplace politics. Read more about this program. Here's an upcoming date for this program:
Managing global or dispersed teams is challenging — miscommunications, misunderstandings, and interpersonal conflict all thrive in the typical environment of the distributed team. And they're even more common in global teams, because of time-zone offsets and language and cultural differences. We'll inventory the challenges distributed and global teams face, and provide tools for anticipating and addressing them. The focus of this program is practical — attendees will learn concrete techniques for preventing and dealing with the problems that accompany global and distributed teams. Read more about this program. Here's an upcoming date for this program:
What do you do when your team can't make critical decisions? Or worse, when they make a decision, what do you do when they open it up again next week? Making good decisions and facilitating group decisions are both critical skills for project managers. In this revealing and interactive program, I demonstrate a model of decision-making that captures the internal conflicts we all feel when we make difficult decisions. With a better understanding of how we resolve conflicting priorities, we not only become more skilled at making decisions, but we learn how to make decisions that "stick." Read more about this program. Here's an upcoming date for this program:
The Politics of Meetings for People Who Hate Politics
There's a lot more to running an effective meeting than having the right room, the right equipment, and the right people. With meetings, the whole really is more than the sum of its parts. How the parts interact with each other and with external elements is as important as the parts themselves. And those interactions are the essence of politics for meetings. This program explores techniques for leading meetings that are based on understanding political interactions, and using that knowledge effectively to meet organizational goals. Read more about this program. Here's an upcoming date for this program:
Person-to-Person Communication for Project Managers
When we talk, listen, send or read emails, read or write memos, or when we leave or listen to voice mail messages, we're communicating person-to-person. And whenever we communicate person-to-person, we risk being misunderstood, offending others, feeling hurt, and being confused. There are so many ways for things to go wrong that we could never learn how to fix all the problems. A more effective approach avoids problems altogether, or at least minimizes their occurrence. In this very interactive program you'll learn a model of inter-personal communications that can help you stay out of the ditch. In those moments of intense involvement, when we're most likely to slip, you'll have a new tool to use to keep things constructive. Read more about this program. Here are some upcoming dates for this program:
In October, increase awareness of workplace politics, and learn how to convert destructive politics to creative politics. Order the Workplace Politics Awareness Month Kit during October at the special price of USD 29.95 and save USD 10.00! Check it out!
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hen deciding is easy, we decide so quickly that we hardly notice we've made a decision. When we identify an activity as a decision, we usually do so because the deciding part is hard. That might be why so many "decisions" seem difficult.
Top 
Next IssueAre your projects always (or almost always) late and over budget? Are your project teams plagued by turnover, burnout, and high defect rates? Turn your culture around. Read 52 Tips for Leaders of Project-Oriented Organizations, filled with tips and techniques for organizational leaders. Order Now!
You Have to Promise Not to Tell a Soul
When You're Scared to Tell the Truth
Workplace Politics vs. Integrity
Tornado Warning
Some Truths About Lies: Part I
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In October, increase awareness of workplace politics, and learn how to convert destructive politics to creative politics. Order the Workplace Politics Awareness Month Kit during October at the special price of USD 29.95 and save USD 10.00! Check it out!
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Are you doing work you love? Are you less in love with the job? Bad boss, long commute, troubling ethical questions, hateful colleague? Read Go For It! Sometimes It's Easier If You Run to learn what we can do when we love the work but not the job. It helps you get moving again!
The key to managing virtual or global teams is creating a sense of team despite the obstacles of separation. Read my tips booklet, 303 Tips for Virtual and Global Teams, to learn how to make your virtual global team sing. Newly revised and updated for 2008 with 101 new tips! Check it out!
Are you managing a change effort that faces rampant cynicism, passive non-cooperation, or maybe even outright revolt? Read 101 Tips for Managing Change to learn how to plan and execute your change efforts to inspire real, passionate support. Check it out!
A Tip a Day arrives by email, or by Yahoo! Widget, each business day. It's 20 to 30 words at most, and gives you a new perspective on the hassles and rewards of work life. Most tips also contain links to related articles. Free!
Do you ever wonder if all these meetings are really necessary? (They aren't) Or whether there isn't some better way to get this work done? (There is) Read 101 Tips for Effective Meetings to learn how to make meetings more productive — and more rare. Check it out!
