You Can't Control What Other People Think
by Rick Brenner
Ever think that the world would be a much better place if you could control what other people think? Maybe it would be. And maybe not...
Maybe you've never thought this, but many people have: "The World would be a better place if only people would think like I do." Rarely is this a useful thought. You can influence others, once in a while, maybe. But you can't control what other people think. The evidence is overwhelming.
In a world where people can control what other people think:
- …there will be only one brand of toothpaste, and we'll all like it
- …meetings will be much shorter because we'll always agree about everything and we'll all arrive on time
- …there will be no divorce lawyers, because there will be no divorces
- …there will be a broccoli shortage because the broccoli people will figure out how to make everyone like it
- …there will be no need for war, bullies, editorials, elections, cosmetics, or advertising. Hmmm. Sounds pretty good.
- …we'll be able to control what we ourselves think (I don't know about you, but I can't do that now)
- …we won't lose as many arguments because everyone will have the same opinion
- …we won't have to dress to impress anyone else, because we'll figure out other ways to impress them that don't involve dry cleaning
- …there will be no salespeople because everyone with something to sell will know how to make us want it
- …we won't have to say You can't control what other
people think. The evidence
is overwhelming.no to anyone because we'll know how to force them to withdraw their requests or not make them in the first place
- …we'll be able to trust everyone
- …our supervisors will love everything we do
- …the people we supervise will love doing whatever we ask them to do
- …all projects will have the resources and time their people think they need (but they will still be wrong by 100%)
- …cable news programs will still be bad, but instead of their guests yelling at each other, they will all agree with each other
- …children will rule the world
- …no, never mind, dogs will rule the world
- …lying will actually work
- …performance reviews will all be "exceeds expectations"
- …raises will still be low, but we'll think they're fine
- …employers won't provide paid vacation time, because we'll all be perfectly happy working 52 weeks
- …everyone will be patriotic in ways we approve of
- …there will be no new ideas because everyone will think, "Hey, I thought of that, too"
- …we'll all be wrong at exactly the same time, in exactly the same way
- …there will be only one country
- …people will probably still argue about religion (some things never change)
So, are you convinced that you can't control what other people think? No? Well, I can't control what you think. Top Next Issue
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More articles on Workplace Politics:
- In workplace politics, some people always seem to be seeking information about others, but they give very little in return. They're pumpers. What can you do to deal with pumpers?
- Ground Level Sources of Scope Creep
- We usually think of scope creep as having been induced by managerial decisions. And most often, it probably is. But most project team members — and others as well — can contribute to the problem.
- Deceptive Communications at Work
- Most workplace communication training emphasizes constructive uses of communication. But when we also understand how communication can be abused, we're better able to defend ourselves from abusive communication. One form of abusive communication is deception.
- The End-to-End Cost of Meetings: Part III
- Many complain about attending meetings. Certainly meetings can be maddening affairs, and they also cost way more than most of us appreciate. Understanding how much we spend on meetings might help us get control of them. Here's Part III of a survey of some less-appreciated costs.
- Just Make It Happen
- Many idolize the no-nonsense manager who says, "I don't want to hear excuses, just make it happen." We associate that stance with strong leadership. Sometimes, though, it's little more than abuse motivated by ambition or ignorance — or both.
See also Workplace Politics and Personal, Team, and Organizational Effectiveness for more related articles.
Forthcoming Issues of Point Lookout
- Coming August 5: Wacky Words of Wisdom: Part IV
- Words of wisdom are pithy sayings that can be valuable so often that we believe them absolutely. Although these sayings are often valuable, they aren't universally valid. Here's Part IV of a growing collection. Available here and by RSS on August 5.
- And on August 12: When the Answer Isn't the Point: Part I
- When we ask each other questions, the answers aren't always what we seek. Sometimes the behavior of the respondent is what matters. Here are some techniques questioners use when the answer to the question wasn't the point of asking. Available here and by RSS on August 12.
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