You Can't Control What Other People Think
by Rick Brenner
Ever think that the world would be a much better place if you could control what other people think? Maybe it would be. And maybe not...
Maybe you've never thought this, but many people have: "The World would be a better place if only people would think like I do." Rarely is this a useful thought. You can influence others, once in a while, maybe. But you can't control what other people think. The evidence is overwhelming.
In a world where people can control what other people think:
- …there will be only one brand of toothpaste, and we'll all like it
- …meetings will be much shorter because we'll always agree about everything and we'll all arrive on time
- …there will be no divorce lawyers, because there will be no divorces
- …there will be a broccoli shortage because the broccoli people will figure out how to make everyone like it
- …there will be no need for war, bullies, editorials, elections, cosmetics, or advertising. Hmmm. Sounds pretty good.
- …we'll be able to control what we ourselves think (I don't know about you, but I can't do that now)
- …we won't lose as many arguments because everyone will have the same opinion
- …we won't have to dress to impress anyone else, because we'll figure out other ways to impress them that don't involve dry cleaning
- …there will be no salespeople because everyone with something to sell will know how to make us want it
- …we won't have to say You can't control what other
people think. The evidence
is overwhelming.no to anyone because we'll know how to force them to withdraw their requests or not make them in the first place
- …we'll be able to trust everyone
- …our supervisors will love everything we do
- …the people we supervise will love doing whatever we ask them to do
- …all projects will have the resources and time their people think they need (but they will still be wrong by 100%)
- …cable news programs will still be bad, but instead of their guests yelling at each other, they will all agree with each other
- …children will rule the world
- …no, never mind, dogs will rule the world
- …lying will actually work
- …performance reviews will all be "exceeds expectations"
- …raises will still be low, but we'll think they're fine
- …employers won't provide paid vacation time, because we'll all be perfectly happy working 52 weeks
- …everyone will be patriotic in ways we approve of
- …there will be no new ideas because everyone will think, "Hey, I thought of that, too"
- …we'll all be wrong at exactly the same time, in exactly the same way
- …there will be only one country
- …people will probably still argue about religion (some things never change)
So, are you convinced that you can't control what other people think? No? Well, I can't control what you think. Top Next Issue
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More articles on Workplace Politics:
- Nasty Questions: Part II
- In meetings, telemeetings, and email we sometimes ask questions that aren't intended to elicit information. Rather, they're indirect attacks intended to advance the questioner's political agenda. Here's part two of a catalog of some favorite tactics.
- Extrasensory Deception: Part II
- In negotiating agreements, the partners who do the drafting have an ethical obligation not to exploit the advantages of the drafting role. Some drafters don't meet that standard.
- Political Framing: Communications
- In organizational politics, one class of toxic tactics is framing — accusing a group or individual by offering interpretations of their actions to knowingly and falsely make them seem responsible for reprehensible or negligent acts. Here are some communications tactics framers use.
- Some Hazards of Skip-Level Interviews: Part II
- Skip-level interviews are dialogs between a subordinate and the subordinate's supervisor's supervisor. They can be both heplful and hazardous. Here's Part II of a little catalog of the hazards.
- Grace Under Fire: Part II
- When we debate at work, things sometimes turn unpleasant. Out of control, one party might maneuver the other into losing control. If we have better tools for recognizing these tactics, we're better able to maintain self-control. Here's Part II of such a toolkit.
See also Workplace Politics and Personal, Team, and Organizational Effectiveness for more related articles.
Forthcoming Issues of Point Lookout
- Coming October 7: Contextual Causes of Conflict: Part I
- When destructive conflict erupts, we usually hold responsible only the people directly involved. But the choices of others, and general circumstances, can be the real causes of destructive conflict. Available here and by RSS on October 7.
- And on October 14: Contextual Causes of Conflict: Part II
- Too often we assume that the causes of destructive conflict lie in the behavior or personalities of the people directly participating in the conflict. Here's Part II of an exploration of causes that lie elsewhere. Available here and by RSS on October 14.
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