Here are some haiku to contemplate when you find yourself in the midst of difficult, uncomfortable, tense situations at work. Read them slowly. Notice how you feel about each one.
Whenever I try
to see things the way you do,
fear overcomes me.
I will obey you.
Whatever you say is right.
The org chart says so.
everyone else about this,
I must be confused.
When the yelling starts
and people blame each other,
I flee for safety.
You don't understand
the complexities we face.
That's why I'm yelling.
When compromise fails,
I strengthen my position
by finding allies.
When we don't agree,
I try everything I know
to bring you around.
When I ask myself,
"Why can't we all get along?"
the answer is them.
We get in trouble
whenever we're together.
Why don't you shape up?
It would be better
for us all if only you
wouldn't question me.
My approach to this
is clearly better than yours.
Why can't you see that?
She does what she wants,
when she's ready to do it.
I must tell her boss.
Whenever I hear
an offer so generous
it just can't be true.
Things look very bleak.
We may never resolve this.
Tell me what's for lunch.
We warned them again,
and they tried it anyway.
Now it's their problem.
I'll never forget
the pain you caused me back then.
And now you will pay.
I might hurt myself
by trying to destroy you,
but you deserve it.
She is pure evil.
We must do all we can do
to keep her contained.
Listening to you
explain the way you see things
would make me seem weak.
If you respect me
you'll agree with me on this.
If you don't — you don't.
You remind me of
someone who once did me wrong.
I see him not you.
I want what I want.
What you want does not matter.
Just do as I say.
I am everything.
Everyone must bow to me.
I must divide you,
because you both threaten me.
Dividing, I conquer.
She saved us last year.
Whatever she says is true.
We follow her lead.
If you say we can,
success is a certainty.
We believe in you.
He rarely attends
but we schedule it for him
in case he breaks free.
Whatever you say,
however you insult me,
I always stay cool.
He hasn't a clue
how impossible that is,
but we must do it.
Are you fed up with tense, explosive meetings? Are you or a colleague the target of a bully? Destructive conflict can ruin organizations. But if we believe that all conflict is destructive, and that we can somehow eliminate conflict, or that conflict is an enemy of productivity, then we're in conflict with Conflict itself. Read 101 Tips for Managing Conflict to learn how to make peace with conflict and make it an organizational asset. Order Now!
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More articles on Emotions at Work:
- Stay in Your Own Hula Hoop
- Do you tend to commit to too many tasks? Are you one who spends too much energy meeting the needs of
others — so much that your own needs go unmet? Here's how a hula-hoop can help.
- Your Wishing Wand
- Wishing — for ourselves, for others, or for all — helps us focus on what we really want.
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- Coping and Hard Lessons
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Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout
- Coming December 20: Conceptual Mondegreens
- When we disagree about abstractions, such as a problem solution, or a competitor's strategy, the cause can often be misunderstanding the abstraction. That misunderstanding can be a conceptual mondegreen. Available here and by RSS on December 20.
- And on December 27: On Assigning Responsibility for Creating Trouble
- When we assign responsibility for troubles that bedevil us, we often make mistakes. We can be misled by language, stereotypes, and the assumptions we make about others. Available here and by RSS on December 27.
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- Person-to-Person Communications: Models and Applications
- When we talk, listen, send or read emails,
read or write memos, or when we leave or listen to voice mail messages, we're communicating person-to-person.
And whenever we communicate person-to-person, we risk being misunderstood, offending others, feeling
hurt, and being confused. There are so many ways for things to go wrong that we could never learn how
to fix all the problems. A more effective approach avoids problems altogether, or at least minimizes
their occurrence. In this very interactive program we'll explain — and show you how to use —
a model of inter-personal communications that can help you stay out of the ditch. We'll place particular
emphasis on a very tricky situation — expressing your personal power. In those moments of intense
involvement, when we're most likely to slip, you'll have a new tool to use to keep things constructive.
Read more about this program. Here's a date for this
- Embassy Suites by Hilton Jacksonville Baymeadows, 9300 Baymeadows
Road, Jacksonville, Florida, 32256, USA: January 15, 2018,
Monthly Meeting, Northeast Florida Chapter of the Project Management Institute. Register now.
- Embassy Suites by Hilton Jacksonville Baymeadows, 9300 Baymeadows Road, Jacksonville, Florida, 32256, USA: January 15, 2018, Monthly Meeting, Northeast Florida Chapter of the Project Management Institute. Register now.
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- Many people who possess real organizational power have a characteristic demeanor. It's the way they project their presence. I call this the power affect. Some people — call them power pretenders — adopt the power affect well before they attain significant organizational power. Unfortunately for their colleagues, and for their organizations, power pretenders can attain organizational power out of proportion to their merit or abilities. Understanding the power affect is therefore important for anyone who aims to attain power, or anyone who works with power pretenders. Read more about this program.