When we participate in meetings, we tend to focus on the parts of our contributions that relate to the content of the discussion. Certainly content is important, but how those contributions fit into the discussion can be important, too. To determine fit, we must examine both the content of the contribution in relation to the rest of the conversation, and the flow of the exchange itself.
Here's a set of techniques for enhancing your influence in meetings.
- Leave the obvious remarks to others
- A contribution that's relatively obvious to most participants can create an impression that the contributor is less worth listening to than other contributors might be. That impression lasts beyond the present moment, leading others to attach lesser value to that contributor's offerings, even when he or she has something more valuable to say. To enhance your influence, leave the obvious remarks to others.
- Speak slowly
- When people want to contribute, some feel pressure to make their contributions quickly, minimizing the time taken. In a rush, they backtrack, misspeak, or forget important points. Avoid this trap. Speak carefully and slowly enough to get it right.
- Make notes if necessary
- Sometimes it's difficult to get a chance to speak. Perhaps many people are trying to enter the discussion, or the meeting is virtual, or the facilitator unskilled. When your turn comes, make it count. Use notes to help you remember the points you want to make. Nothing erodes influence like forgetting important points.
- Ask brilliant questions
- Contributions need not be definitive. Questions are contributions, too, especially when they stop the meeting in its tracks. See "Asking Brilliant Questions," Point Lookout for November 22, 2006, for more.
- Learn how not to be interrupted
- Being interrupted erodes the contributor's ability to influence the meeting. Usually we regard the interrupter as the cause of the interruption, but the person being interrupted can do much to prevent interruptions. See "Let Me Finish, Please," Point Lookout for January 22, 2003, for more.
- Deal with interruptions
- When interruptions do occur, To enhance your influence,
leave the obvious
remarks to otherstalking louder than the person interrupting is ineffective. Because interrupting others repeatedly is a performance issue, deal with it privately. Talk to the meeting lead if you aren't the lead, or talk to the interrupter if you are the lead. If things don't improve, escalate.
- Get to the point
- Some begin their contributions by describing them, or by explaining how the idea came about. For instance, "I was thinking about this very issue as I was coming up the stairs from the lobby this morning, and this amazing insight came to me." Skip that stuff. Get to the point. Making the contribution eliminates the need to describe it. If people want to know how it originated, let them ask you.
Do you spend your days scurrying from meeting to meeting? Do you ever wonder if all these meetings are really necessary? (They aren't) Or whether there isn't some better way to get this work done? (There is) Read 101 Tips for Effective Meetings to learn how to make meetings much more productive and less stressful — and a lot more rare. Order Now!
Your comments are welcomeWould you like to see your comments posted here? rbrenKHGpjRIwMONOXWnVner@ChacTJbNcOBEPNIawhtloCanyon.comSend me your comments by email, or by Web form.
About Point Lookout
Thank you for reading this article. I hope you enjoyed it and found it useful, and that you'll consider recommending it to a friend.
Support Point Lookout by joining the Friends of Point Lookout, as an individual or as an organization.
Do you face a complex interpersonal situation? Send it in, anonymously if you like, and I'll give you my two cents.
More articles on Personal, Team, and Organizational Effectiveness:
- Coaching and Haircuts
- Lifelong learners use a variety of approaches, usually relying heavily on reading. Reading works well
for some ideas and techniques, especially for those with limited emotional content. For adding other
skills and perceptions, consider a personal coach.
- Coincidences Do Happen
- When we notice similarities between events, or possible patterns of events, we often attribute meaning
to them beyond what we can prove. Sometimes we guess right, and sometimes not. How can we improve our guesses?
- How we deal with adversity can make the difference between happiness and something else. And how we
deal with adversity depends on how we see it.
- On Virtual Relationships
- Whether or not you work as part of a virtual team, you probably work with some people you rarely meet
face-to-face. And there are some people you've never met, and probably never will. What does it take
to maintain good working relationships with people you rarely meet?
- I've Been Right All Along
- As people, we're very good at forming and holding beliefs and opinions despite nagging doubts. These
doubts lead us to search for confirmation of our beliefs, and to reject information that might conflict
with our beliefs. Often, this process causes us to persist in believing nonsense. How can we tell when
this is happening?
Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout
- Coming June 28: Tackling Hard Problems: I
- Hard problems need not be big problems. Even when they're small, they can halt progress on any project. Here's Part I of an approach to working on hard problems by breaking them down into smaller steps. Available here and by RSS on June 28.
- And on July 5: Tackling Hard Problems: II
- In this Part II of our look at solving hard problems, we continue developing properties of the solution, and look at how we get from the beginning to the end. Available here and by RSS on July 5.
I offer email and telephone coaching at both corporate and individual rates. Contact Rick for details at rbrenHUfSUVZUuxcKBOvMner@ChacvgEFrnFFBlnybXxvoCanyon.com or (617) 491-6289, or toll-free in the continental US at (866) 378-5470.
Get the ebook!
Past issues of Point Lookout are available in six ebooks:
- Get 2001-2 in Geese Don't Land on Twigs (PDF, USD 11.95)
- Get 2003-4 in Why Dogs Wag (PDF, USD 11.95)
- Get 2005-6 in Loopy Things We Do (PDF, USD 11.95)
- Get 2007-8 in Things We Believe That Maybe Aren't So True (PDF, USD 11.95)
- Get 2009-10 in The Questions Not Asked (PDF, USD 11.95)
- Get all of the first twelve years (2001-2012) in The Collected Issues of Point Lookout (PDF, USD 28.99)
Are you a writer, editor or publisher on deadline? Are you looking for an article that will get people talking and get compliments flying your way? You can have 500 words in your inbox in one hour. License any article from this Web site. More info
- The Power Affect: How We Express Our Personal Power
- Many people who possess real organizational power have a characteristic demeanor. It's the way they project their presence. I call this the power affect. Some people — call them power pretenders — adopt the power affect well before they attain significant organizational power. Unfortunately for their colleagues, and for their organizations, power pretenders can attain organizational power out of proportion to their merit or abilities. Understanding the power affect is therefore important for anyone who aims to attain power, or anyone who works with power pretenders. Read more about this program. Here are some upcoming dates for this program:
- Creating High Performance Virtual Teams
- Many people experience virtual teams as awkward, slow, and sometimes
frustrating. Even when most team members hail from the same nation or culture, and even when they all
speak the same language, geographic dispersion or the presence of employees from multiple enterprises
is often enough to exclude all possibility of high performance. The problem is that we lead, manage,
and support virtual teams in ways that are too much like the way we lead, manage, and support co-located
teams. In this program, Rick Brenner shows you how to change your approach to leading, managing, and
supporting virtual teams to achieve high performance using Simons' Four Spans model of high performance.
Read more about this program. Here's an upcoming date
for this program:
- Baci Grill, 134 Berlin
Road, Berlin, CT 06416: September 19,
Monthly Meeting, Southern New England Chapter of the Project Management Institute. Register now.
- Baci Grill, 134 Berlin Road, Berlin, CT 06416: September 19, Monthly Meeting, Southern New England Chapter of the Project Management Institute. Register now.
- The Race to the South Pole: Ten Lessons for Project Managers
- On 14 December 1911, four men led by Roald
Amundsen reached the South Pole. Thirty-five days later, Robert F. Scott and four others followed. Amundsen
had won the race to the pole. Amundsen's party returned to base on 26 January 1912. Scott's party perished.
As historical drama, why this happened is interesting enough, but to organizational leaders, business
analysts, project sponsors, and project managers, the story is fascinating. Lessons abound. Read
more about this program. Here's an upcoming date for this program:
- CTCPA, 716 Brook Street,
Rocky Hill, CT 06067: September 20,
Full-day Workshop, Southern New England Chapter of the Project Management Institute. Register now.
- CTCPA, 716 Brook Street, Rocky Hill, CT 06067: September 20, Full-day Workshop, Southern New England Chapter of the Project Management Institute. Register now.