Meeting Bullies: Advice for Chairs

Workplace bullying in meetings is expensive, not least because it degrades the quality of the work performed in meetings. If allowed to persist, those who are targeted tend to shut down, depriving the meeting of their contributions. Moreover, once the bully has established dominance, solving the problem becomes more difficult. That's why bullying must be dealt with immediately.

Let's begin by defining workplace bullying. Definitions vary — here's mine:

Workplace bullying is any aggressive behavior, associated with work, and primarily intended to cause physical or psychological harm to others.

Although workplace bullying is usually cloaked in business purposes, the bully's primary intention is inflicting physical or psychological harm to consolidate power.

In all cases, the chair is responsible for ending the bullying. Let's consider the least complex case first: neither the bully nor the target is the chair. In this case, the chair can demand a change in behavior.

Here are six suggestions for chairs who observe bullying taking place. They follow a simple pattern: Prepare, Intervene, and finally, Escalate.

Publish behavioral norms

Publish behavioral norms — ten or a dozen at most — before taking any other action. Examples: Be respectful, don't raise your voice, don't interrupt, wait for recognition by the chair, and so on. Incorporate in this list any relevant items from the company code of conduct.

Document what's been happening

Prepare documentation that specifies for each bullying incident the date and time, the target's name, the bully's name, the behavior itself, and what you did about it. The audience for this document is the bully's supervisor, your supervisor, and possibly a Human Resources representative.

Seize the floor

As chair, when you notice bullying behavior, seize the floor. Typically, some behavioral norm has been violated. Caution the offender. For example, "George, let's be more respectful. You may continue if you agree to be more respectful. Otherwise I'll give the floor to someone else."

Speak to the bully privately

Speaking to the bully privately deprives the bully of an audience. Explain that you regard the bully's behavior as bullying, that it must stop immediately, and that you'll take further action if it continues, but don't specify what action you'll take.

Speak to the bully's supervisor

If the bullying persists, speak to the bully's supervisor. Ask the supervisor to let you know when corrective action has been taken.

Speak to your own supervisor privately

If the Speaking to the bully
privately deprives the
bully of an audiencebully's supervisor doesn't act promptly and effectively, seek advice from your own supervisor. Perhaps your supervisor and the bully's supervisor can resolve the issue together.

If these actions fail, the problem belongs to HR, since neither you, nor the bully's supervisor, nor your own supervisor has acted effectively to end the bullying. Present your documentation to a Human Resources representative, and ask for advice about what further action might be required of you.

Next time we'll explore what can be done when the chair is the bully.  Next in this series  Top    Next Issue

Is a workplace bully targeting you? Do you know what to do to end the bullying? Workplace bullying is so widespread that a 2014 survey indicated that 27% of American workers have experienced bullying firsthand, that 21% have witnessed it, and that 72% are aware that bullying happens. Yet, there are few laws to protect workers from bullies, and bullying is not a crime in most jurisdictions. 101 Tips for Targets of Workplace Bullies is filled with the insights targets of bullying need to find a way to survive, and then to finally end the bullying. Also available at Apple's iTunes store! Just . Order Now!

Your comments are welcome

About Point Lookout

Thank you for reading this article. I hope you enjoyed it and found it useful, and that you'll consider recommending it to a friend.

This article in its entirety was written by a human being. No machine intelligence was involved in any way.

Point Lookout is a free weekly email newsletter. Browse the archive of past issues. Subscribe for free.

Support Point Lookout by joining the Friends of Point Lookout, as an individual or as an organization.

Do you face a complex interpersonal situation? Send it in, anonymously if you like, and I'll give you my two cents.

Related articles

More articles on Workplace Bullying:

How Targets of Bullies Can Use OODA: II

To make the bullying stop, many targets of bullies try to defend themselves. But defense alone is not sufficient — someone must make the bully stop. That's why counterattack is much more likely to work.

Social Isolation and Workplace Bullying

Social isolation is a tactic widely used by workplace bullies. What is it? How do bullies use it? Why do bullies use it? What can targets do about it?

So You Want the Bullying to End: I

If you're the target of a workplace bully, you probably want the bullying to end. If you've ever been the target of a workplace bully, you probably remember wanting it to end. But how it ends can be more important than whether or when it ends.

Anticipatory Disappointment at Work

Disappointment is usually unpleasant, and sometimes benign. But when it occurs before we have evidence of bad news — when it is anticipatory — disappointment can be unnecessary and expensive. What is anticipatory disappointment? What are the risks?

Covert Verbal Abuse at Work

Verbal abuse at work uses written or spoken language to disparage, disadvantage, or harm others. Perpetrators favor tactics they can subsequently deny having used. Even more favored are abusive tactics that are so subtle that others don't notice them.

See also Workplace Bullying and Effective Meetings for more related articles.

Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout

Coming April 24: Antipatterns for Time-Constrained Communication: 1

Knowing how to recognize just a few patterns that can lead to miscommunication can be helpful in reducing the incidence of problems. Here is Part 1 of a collection of communication antipatterns that arise in technical communication under time pressure. Available here and by RSS on April 24.

And on May 1: Antipatterns for Time-Constrained Communication: 2

Recognizing just a few patterns that can lead to miscommunication can reduce the incidence of problems. Here is Part 2 of a collection of antipatterns that arise in technical communication under time pressure, emphasizing those that depend on content. Available here and by RSS on May 1.

Coaching services

I offer email and telephone coaching at both corporate and individual rates. Contact Rick for details at rbrendPtoGuFOkTSMQOzxner@ChacEgGqaylUnkmwIkkwoCanyon.com or (650) 787-6475, or toll-free in the continental US at (866) 378-5470.

Get the ebook!

Past issues of Point Lookout are available in six ebooks:

• Get 2001-2 in Geese Don't Land on Twigs (PDF, )
• Get 2003-4 in Why Dogs Wag (PDF, )
• Get 2005-6 in Loopy Things We Do (PDF, )
• Get 2007-8 in Things We Believe That Maybe Aren't So True (PDF, )
• Get 2009-10 in The Questions Not Asked (PDF, )
• Get all of the first twelve years (2001-2012) in The Collected Issues of Point Lookout (PDF, )

Are you a writer, editor or publisher on deadline? Are you looking for an article that will get people talking and get compliments flying your way? You can have 500-1000 words in your inbox in one hour. License any article from this Web site. More info