Are you being bullied at work? Is someone you supervise bullying you? Do you know how to identify bullying behavior? Do you know what to do when you experience bullying?
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Workplace bullying is so widespread that a 2014 survey indicated that that 27% of American workers have experienced bullying firsthand, that 21% have witnessed it, and that 72% are aware that workplace bullying happens. Yet, there are few laws to protect workers from bullies, bullying is not a crime in most jurisdictions, and few employers have specific anti-bullying policies.
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101 Tips for Targets of Workplace Bullies is filled with the insights targets of bullying need to find a way to survive, and then to finally end the bullying. It helps you avoid the traps and pitfalls that await you at work, and it guides you into new choices that can right the wrongs you have experienced.
101 Tips for Targets of Workplace Bullies is a collection of short tips that help targets formulate effective responses to bullying. You'll learn techniques that cause the bully to find new targets, and guide the organization towards getting control of its bullies. It gives concrete, nuts-and-bolts methods for dealing with real-life situations. It's a collection of significant size — 34 pages (18,000 words) in all. That's about 1.5 times the size of Who Moved My Cheese?.
Here are some sample tips.
- Targets can mount massively coordinated counterattacks feeble counterattacks, if any. The key principle: when you counterattack, escalate to the max. Hold nothing back. organization.
- Understand how bullies use social isolation effectively enhance psychic pain in the target. target attend by telephone rather than in person, could create a sense of exclusion. support, or advice. gatherings of the supervisor's subordinates without involving the supervisor.
- Understand the paradox of the "easy target" attractive, not all attractive targets are "easy targets." target proves relatively little. is the most attractive kind of target.
- Be precise when you lodge complaints about bullying not so when trying to end bullying. malicious, when I don't at all mean anything like that." target's complaint. the organization must address." doing." is likely to result in an unsuccessful outcome. advice in how to approach the problem.
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Know how to recognize bullying
- Know what workplace bullying is
- Don't assume that your workplace is bully-free
- Know the signs that you're being bullied
- Understand that bullies fully expect to cause harm
- You can decide what bullying is and what it isn't
- Bullies do not fit a recognized profile
Understand the social structure of workplace bullying
- Know the range of participant roles
- Bullies conceive and/or initiate the abuse
- The target is the recipient of the bully's abuse
- The bully supervisor is the direct supervisor of the bully
- Bully assistants carry out the bullying on behalf of the bully
- Bully abettors enable the bullying to continue
- Bully reinforcers support the bully but don't engage in abuse directly
- Silent witnesses observe the bullying but don't acknowledge it
- Authorities are managers in the bully's report chain
- Target supervisors are usually aware of the bullying
- Target allies take the part of the target, sometimes in the moment
- Target comforters support the target, usually confidentially
- Cognizant officials represent the interests of the organization
- The oblivious are unaware of the bullying
Understand why bullies bully
- Reject the myth that all bullies suffer from low self-esteem
- Bullies derive a sense of power from bullying
- Bullies interpret inaction by authority figures as endorsement
- Others also interpret inaction by authority as endorsement
- Bullying is often episodic
- Most bullies do not bully out of fear of loss of job
- Revenge against the target is rarely a primary motive
- Personal animosity towards the target is rarely a primary motive
Know the difference between bullying and ordinary toxic conflict
- Conflict is sometimes creative, but bullying is always destructive
- In bullying, the bully is always the perpetuator
- In bullying, the bully is the initiator
- In ordinary toxic conflict, the parties have goals
- Denial is common in bullying
- In bullying, there is a marked imbalance of power
- In bullying there is a stark asymmetry of inner experiences
Understand how to wait for relief
- Set a time limit
- Inventory the costs of waiting for relief
- Seek personal counseling
- Consider couples counseling
- Use your vacation days
Understand the experience of the target
- Targets can feel that they are not in control of their own lives
- Targets search for ways to regain control of their lives
- Targets often describe themselves as being on a roller coaster
- Targets frequently experience social isolation
- Many targets feel the urge to flee
Understand the experience of …
- Know the possible motivations of the bully supervisor
- Know the possible motivations of bully assistants
- Know the possible motivations of bully abettors
- Know the possible motivations of bully reinforcers
- Know the possible motivations of silent witnesses
- Know the possible motivations of authorities
- Know the possible motivations of the target supervisor
- Know the possible motivations of target allies
- Know the possible motivations of target comforters
- Know the possible motivations of cognizant officials
- Know the possible motivations of the oblivious
Know the various strategies of bullying
- Know the six strategies of workplace bullying
- Understand how bullies use social isolation
- Understand how bullies use information manipulation
- Understand how bullies use abuse of working conditions
- Understand how bullies use emotional abuse
- Understand how bullies use professional discrediting
- Understand how bullies use professional devaluation
Understand how bullies choose their targets
- Bullies focus on outcomes
- Understand the paradox of the "easy target"
- Know the six classes of preferred targets
Understand how bullies defend themselves
- Know your bully's defensive capabilities
- Know how bullies use defensive tactics
- Know how bullies use preventative defensive tactics
Understand the dynamics of confrontation
- Bullies aren't necessarily seeking confrontation
- Understand the OODA model
- Bullies are intuitive users of the OODA model
- Bullies use OODA to select targets
- Bullies use OODA to control the tempo of the confrontations
- Bullies use OODA to shape the bullying environment
- Targets are more successful if they accept the necessity of counterattack
- Targets should address their own reticence about counterattack
- Targets can mount massively coordinated counterattacks
- Targets who exploit situational awareness are more successful
- Targets can work to degrade the bully's situational awareness
- Targets can use deception and disinformation to confuse the bully
- Targets must know their own vulnerabilities
Understand why ordinary conflict resolution strategies don't work
- Guiding the parties toward achieving common goals doesn't work
- Adopting a win-win approach doesn't work
- Fostering mutual understanding doesn't work
- Encouraging the parties to put the past behind them doesn't work
- Encouraging mutual respect, while avoiding talk of punishment and blaming, doesn't work
Know tactics and strategies for ending the bullying
- As a target, avoid revealing your new posture before you're really ready
- As a target, know your legal rights
- As a target who is the bully's supervisor, combine caution with counterattack
- As a target who is the bully's supervisor, plan for the retaliation conversation
- Know your employer's anti-bullying policy
- Understand why targets wait too long before seeking advice and assistance
- Start looking for legal advice long before you think you need it
- Find proactive legal representation
- Be precise when you lodge complaints about bullying
- Be strategic about presenting evidence to authorities
- Gathering evidence requires refined observational skills
- Commit all your observations to an evidence journal
- Understand the value of evidence provided by target allies
- Understand the dos and don'ts of audio recording
101 Tips for Targets of Workplace Bullies is in Acrobat format, which gives you several advantages. You can print it, and read it like any book. Or in electronic form, you can use the search capability of Adobe Reader to find passages of special interest to you. If you load it onto your laptop, tablet, or other mobile device, you can read it anywhere — and it's weightless, too. 34 pages.
File size: 630 KBytes Print length: 34 pages ISBN: 978-1-938932-06-9 Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited devices, but single user Publication date: August 30, 2011 Sold by: Chaco Canyon Consulting Language: English
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Last modified: 24 Apr 2018 05:30 Eastern Time