As the exchange between Michel and Wilson grew more heated, Nicole began to feel more and more threatened. Sitting as she was, right between them, she was directly in the line of fire. Finally, she could keep silent no more. In a tone she regretted even as she spoke, she said, "Will you two please settle down? If you can't, take it outside!"
In meetings, choose
your seat with
in mindMichel and Wilson halted immediately, and although everyone in the meeting — including Nicole — was relieved, Nicole's regret deepened. 'Why couldn't I have kept still?' she thought. 'I wasn't involved and it wasn't my problem.'
Nicole might not have been involved at the content level of the discussion, but the placement of her chair meant that she was involved in the conflict. Her discomfort led her to demand an end to the exchange, and although nothing bad happened this time, such interventions can be risky.
In meetings, where you sit does influence your participation. Since your seat can even affect your status within the meeting, choose your seat with these 12 strategic goals in mind.
- As Chair, choose carefully
- If the room is set in classroom or auditorium style, as Chair you have little choice — the front is for you. But if the room has a long table, typically, the Chair sits in the "power position" — at one end — even though the power position isn't always so powerful. The effective radius of control of any position is only about 10-15 feet (3-5 meters). If the table is longer than that, or if attendees will be discussing issues, the Chair should sit in the middle of one side of the long table, for better control.
- If you plan to participate, sit in a central location
- Sitting near the center of action of the meeting gives you an advantage if you want to contribute or influence the flow of the meeting. If you aren't a key contributor, and if you want to stay out of the action, choose a corner.
- Sit next to your trouble
- If you expect hostile or tense exchanges with someone, choose a nearby seat, preferably to the person's right. Sitting in easy line of sight can invite confrontation, especially if both of you are male. Sitting side-by-side is less threatening and can even be friendly.
- Stay out of the line of fire
- If you anticipate that two other attendees might engage in a heated exchange, put some space between you and them. Avoid sitting in the line of fire, and avoid sitting near either one, unless you want to express your feelings of allegiance to one party.
This is Part I of a two-part article. See "Take Any Seat: II," Point Lookout for June 2, 2004, for more.
Do you spend your days scurrying from meeting to meeting? Do you ever wonder if all these meetings are really necessary? (They aren't) Or whether there isn't some better way to get this work done? (There is) Read 101 Tips for Effective Meetings to learn how to make meetings much more productive and less stressful — and a lot more rare. Order Now!
Your comments are welcomeWould you like to see your comments posted here? rbrenYyNmcTiFYRRLNfUEner@ChacQSVYluyhIDcloJyKoCanyon.comSend me your comments by email, or by Web form.
About Point Lookout
Thank you for reading this article. I hope you enjoyed it and found it useful, and that you'll consider recommending it to a friend.
Support Point Lookout by joining the Friends of Point Lookout, as an individual or as an organization.
Do you face a complex interpersonal situation? Send it in, anonymously if you like, and I'll give you my two cents.
More articles on Personal, Team, and Organizational Effectiveness:
- How we deal with adversity can make the difference between happiness and something else. And how we
deal with adversity depends on how we see it.
- How Not to Accumulate Junk
- Look around your office. Look around your home. Very likely, some of your belongings are useless and
provide neither enjoyment nor cause for contemplation. Where does this stuff come from? Why can't we
get rid of it?
- Making Meaning
- When we see or hear the goings-on around us, we interpret them to make meaning and significance. Some
interpretations are thoughtful, but most are almost instantaneous. Since the instantaneous ones are
sometimes goofy or dangerous, here's a look at how we make interpretations.
- Sixteen Overload Haiku
- Most of us have some experience of being overloaded and overworked. Many of us have forgotten what it
is not to be overloaded. Here's a contemplation of the state of overload.
- Contextual Causes of Conflict: I
- When destructive conflict erupts, we usually hold responsible only the people directly involved. But
the choices of others, and general circumstances, can be the real causes of destructive conflict.
Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout
- Coming August 23: Look Where You Aren't Looking
- Being blindsided by an adverse event could indicate the event's sudden, unexpected development. It can also indicate a failure to anticipate what could have been reasonably anticipated. How can we improve our ability to prepare for adverse events? Available here and by RSS on August 23.
- And on August 30: They Just Don't Understand
- When we cannot resolve an issue in open debate, we sometimes try to explain the obstinacy of others. The explanations we favor can tell us more about ourselves than they do about others. Available here and by RSS on August 30.
I offer email and telephone coaching at both corporate and individual rates. Contact Rick for details at rbreneQwzmvcxWJbEmXluner@ChacikCsgBBIksAYhiBSoCanyon.com or (617) 491-6289, or toll-free in the continental US at (866) 378-5470.
Get the ebook!
Past issues of Point Lookout are available in six ebooks:
- Get 2001-2 in Geese Don't Land on Twigs (PDF, USD 11.95)
- Get 2003-4 in Why Dogs Wag (PDF, USD 11.95)
- Get 2005-6 in Loopy Things We Do (PDF, USD 11.95)
- Get 2007-8 in Things We Believe That Maybe Aren't So True (PDF, USD 11.95)
- Get 2009-10 in The Questions Not Asked (PDF, USD 11.95)
- Get all of the first twelve years (2001-2012) in The Collected Issues of Point Lookout (PDF, USD 28.99)
Are you a writer, editor or publisher on deadline? Are you looking for an article that will get people talking and get compliments flying your way? You can have 500 words in your inbox in one hour. License any article from this Web site. More info
- The Race to the South Pole: Ten Lessons for Project Managers
- On 14 December 1911, four men led by Roald
Amundsen reached the South Pole. Thirty-five days later, Robert F. Scott and four others followed. Amundsen
had won the race to the pole. Amundsen's party returned to base on 26 January 1912. Scott's party perished.
As historical drama, why this happened is interesting enough, but to organizational leaders, business
analysts, project sponsors, and project managers, the story is fascinating. Lessons abound. Read
more about this program. Here are some dates for this program:
- The Westin Virginia Beach Town Center, 4535 Commerce Street,
Virginia Beach, VA 23462: September 13,
Monthly Meeting, Hampton Roads Chapter of the Project Management Institute. Register now.
- CTCPA, 716 Brook Street,
Rocky Hill, CT 06067: September 20,
Full-day Workshop, Southern New England Chapter of the Project Management Institute. Register now.
- The Westin Virginia Beach Town Center, 4535 Commerce Street, Virginia Beach, VA 23462: September 13, Monthly Meeting, Hampton Roads Chapter of the Project Management Institute. Register now.
- Creating High Performance Virtual Teams
- Many people experience virtual teams as awkward, slow, and sometimes
frustrating. Even when most team members hail from the same nation or culture, and even when they all
speak the same language, geographic dispersion or the presence of employees from multiple enterprises
is often enough to exclude all possibility of high performance. The problem is that we lead, manage,
and support virtual teams in ways that are too much like the way we lead, manage, and support co-located
teams. In this program, Rick Brenner shows you how to change your approach to leading, managing, and
supporting virtual teams to achieve high performance using Simons' Four Spans model of high performance.
Read more about this program. Here's a date for this
- Baci Grill, 134 Berlin
Road, Berlin, CT 06416: September 19,
Monthly Meeting, Southern New England Chapter of the Project Management Institute. Register now.
- Baci Grill, 134 Berlin Road, Berlin, CT 06416: September 19, Monthly Meeting, Southern New England Chapter of the Project Management Institute. Register now.
- The Power Affect: How We Express Our Personal Power
- Many people who possess real organizational power have a characteristic demeanor. It's the way they project their presence. I call this the power affect. Some people — call them power pretenders — adopt the power affect well before they attain significant organizational power. Unfortunately for their colleagues, and for their organizations, power pretenders can attain organizational power out of proportion to their merit or abilities. Understanding the power affect is therefore important for anyone who aims to attain power, or anyone who works with power pretenders. Read more about this program.
- Your stuff is brilliant! Thank you!
- You and Scott Adams both secretly work here, right?
- I really enjoy my weekly newsletters. I appreciate the quick read.
- A sort of Dr. Phil for Management!
- …extremely accurate, inspiring and applicable to day-to-day … invaluable.