Here are some haiku to contemplate when you find yourself in the midst of difficult, uncomfortable, tense situations at work. Read them slowly. Notice how you feel about each one.
Whenever I try
to see things the way you do,
fear overcomes me.
I will obey you.
Whatever you say is right.
The org chart says so.
everyone else about this,
I must be confused.
When the yelling starts
and people blame each other,
I flee for safety.
You don't understand
the complexities we face.
That's why I'm yelling.
When compromise fails,
I strengthen my position
by finding allies.
When we don't agree,
I try everything I know
to bring you around.
When I ask myself,
"Why can't we all get along?"
the answer is them.
We get in trouble
whenever we're together.
Why don't you shape up?
It would be better
for us all if only you
wouldn't question me.
My approach to this
is clearly better than yours.
Why can't you see that?
She does what she wants,
when she's ready to do it.
I must tell her boss.
Whenever I hear
an offer so generous
it just can't be true.
Things look very bleak.
We may never resolve this.
Tell me what's for lunch.
We warned them again,
and they tried it anyway.
Now it's their problem.
I'll never forget
the pain you caused me back then.
And now you will pay.
I might hurt myself
by trying to destroy you,
but you deserve it.
She is pure evil.
We must do all we can do
to keep her contained.
Listening to you
explain the way you see things
would make me seem weak.
If you respect me
you'll agree with me on this.
If you don't — you don't.
You remind me of
someone who once did me wrong.
I see him not you.
I want what I want.
What you want does not matter.
Just do as I say.
I am everything.
Everyone must bow to me.
I must divide you,
because you both threaten me.
Dividing, I conquer.
She saved us last year.
Whatever she says is true.
We follow her lead.
If you say we can,
success is a certainty.
We believe in you.
He rarely attends
but we schedule it for him
in case he breaks free.
Whatever you say,
however you insult me,
I always stay cool.
He hasn't a clue
how impossible that is,
but we must do it.
Are you fed up with tense, explosive meetings? Are you or a colleague the target of a bully? Destructive conflict can ruin organizations. But if we believe that all conflict is destructive, and that we can somehow eliminate conflict, or that conflict is an enemy of productivity, then we're in conflict with Conflict itself. Read 101 Tips for Managing Conflict to learn how to make peace with conflict and make it an organizational asset. Order Now!
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More articles on Emotions at Work:
- Those Across-the-Board Cuts That Aren't
- One widespread feature of organizational life is the announcement of across-the-board cuts. Although
they're announced, they're rarely "across-the-board." What's behind this pattern? How can
we change it to a more effective, truthful pattern?
- Can You Hear Me Now?
- Not feeling heard can feel like an attack, even when there was no attack, and then conversation can
quickly turn to war. Here are some tips for hearing your conversation partner and for conveying the
message that you actually did hear.
- The Problem of Work Life Balance
- When we consider the problem of work life balance, we're at a disadvantage from the start. The term
itself is part of the problem.
- Toxic Conflict in Virtual Teams: Minimizing Authority
- Toxic conflict in virtual teams is especially difficult to address, because we bring to it assumptions
about causes and remedies that we've acquired in our experience in co-located teams. In this Part II
of our exploration we examine how minimizing authority tends to convert ordinary creative conflict into
a toxic form.
- Scope Creep and Confirmation Bias
- As we've seen, some cognitive biases can contribute to the incidence of scope creep in projects and
other efforts. Confirmation bias, which causes us to prefer evidence that bolsters our preconceptions,
is one of these.
Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout
- Coming May 31: Unresponsive Suppliers: III
- When suppliers have a customer orientation, we can usually depend on them. But government suppliers are a special case. Available here and by RSS on May 31.
- And on June 7: The Knowledge One-Upmanship Game
- The Knowledge One-Upmanship Game is a pattern of group behavior in the form of a contest to determine which player knows the most arcane fact. It can seem like innocent fun, but it can disrupt a team's ability to collaborate. Available here and by RSS on June 7.
I offer email and telephone coaching at both corporate and individual rates. Contact Rick for details at rbrenIlPFTxdjgJzxnRsener@ChacbCbISoTuPjLeBsazoCanyon.com or (617) 491-6289, or toll-free in the continental US at (866) 378-5470.
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- Creating High Performance Virtual Teams
- Many people experience virtual teams as awkward, slow, and sometimes
frustrating. Even when most team members hail from the same nation or culture, and even when they all
speak the same language, geographic dispersion or the presence of employees from multiple enterprises
is often enough to exclude all possibility of high performance. The problem is that we lead, manage,
and support virtual teams in ways that are too much like the way we lead, manage, and support co-located
teams. In this program, Rick Brenner shows you how to change your approach to leading, managing, and
supporting virtual teams to achieve high performance using Simons' Four Spans model of high performance.
Read more about this program. Here's an upcoming date
for this program:
- Baci Grill, 134 Berlin
Road, Berlin, CT 06416: September 19,
Monthly Meeting, Southern New England Chapter of the Project Management Institute. Register now.
- Baci Grill, 134 Berlin Road, Berlin, CT 06416: September 19, Monthly Meeting, Southern New England Chapter of the Project Management Institute. Register now.
- The Race to the South Pole: Ten Lessons for Project Managers
- On 14 December 1911, four men led by Roald
Amundsen reached the South Pole. Thirty-five days later, Robert F. Scott and four others followed. Amundsen
had won the race to the pole. Amundsen's party returned to base on 26 January 1912. Scott's party perished.
As historical drama, why this happened is interesting enough, but to organizational leaders, business
analysts, project sponsors, and project managers, the story is fascinating. Lessons abound. Read
more about this program. Here's an upcoming date for this program:
- CTCPA, 716 Brook Street,
Rocky Hill, CT 06067: September 20,
Full-day Workshop, Southern New England Chapter of the Project Management Institute. Register now.
- CTCPA, 716 Brook Street, Rocky Hill, CT 06067: September 20, Full-day Workshop, Southern New England Chapter of the Project Management Institute. Register now.