July 24, 2002	Volume 2, Issue 30
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Working Out on Your Dreadmill

by Rick Brenner

Many of us are experts in risk analysis and risk management. Even the non-specialists among us have developed considerable skill in anticipating troubles and preparing plans for dealing with them. When these habits of thought leak into our personal lives, we pay a high price.

logging through traffic on his way home, Jason remembered that tomorrow was the day. He'd rescheduled his "annual" physical so many times that it was now biannual, and he knew he couldn't delay it any more. "I wonder whether I ought to tell him about the pain," he thought. It came only once in a while, mostly late at night after a big meal, but more and more often now. "Probably nothing," he thought. "Unless it's the big C."

He knew he'd have trouble sleeping that night. "If it's cancer," he thought, "I wonder how long I have?" He remembered his eighth grade homeroom teacher, who missed the three days right before Spring vacation, and never returned. "They know a lot more now," he thought, "but maybe they don't know much about this one. I should get things in order."

The next day, Jason did tell his doctor about the pain. It was serious, but treatable with a prescription. He's fine, now — physically. But Jason continues to suffer from a common pattern of thinking. Jason dreads.

If anticipating problems
is part of your job,
you risk carrying that
pattern of thinking
home with you, and
applying it in
inappropriate waysHe dreads magnificently. After a lifetime of worrying, he can now conjure up threatening, yet plausible, scenarios based on almost no real information, a talent that makes him a valuable member of any risk management team. And he pays a high price for it personally.

• You fret endlessly about things that you cannot prevent, avoid or influence.
• You obsess about being late, even when you know that everyone else will be late, too.
• You worry about whether you worry too much or enough.
• When you aren't worrying enough, you downshift to a lower fear.
• Even when things are going well, you worry: "Something bad is coming, I just know it."

If anticipating problems is part of your job, you risk carrying that pattern of thinking home with you, and applying it in inappropriate ways. Dread turns joyous and fun experiences into painful burdens. Here are some tips for getting off your dreadmill.

• Acknowledge the value of worry. It helps you anticipate trouble and plan for it.
• Track the effectiveness of your worrying. Is it worth the effort?
• Track the time you spend worrying. Become aware of how much a part of your life worrying has become.
• Track the time you spend fantasizing about wonderful things. If it's a lot less than your worry time, spend more time at it.
• Hang a picture of Mark Twain on your wall with this quote: "I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened."

As I write these little essays, I sometimes worry about finding an ending that's just right. Sometimes I can't. It's OK.  Top    Next Issue

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More articles on Emotions at Work:

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If you're a manager in a project-oriented organization, you need to know the full, unvarnished Truth. When you kill a messenger, you deliver a message of your own: Tell me the Truth at your peril. Killing messengers has such predictable results that you have to question any report you receive — good news or bad.

When You Make a Mistake

We've all made mistakes, and we'll continue to do so for as long as we live. Making mistakes is part of being human. Still, we're often troubled by our mistakes, even when we remember that many mistakes turn out to be great gifts. Why do we have such a hard time acknowledging mistakes?

Demanding Forgiveness

Working together under stress, we do sometimes hurt each other. Delivering apologies is a skill critical to repairing those hurts and maintaining our relationships.

Believe It or Else

When we use threats and intimidation to win debates or agreement, we lay a flimsy foundation for future action. Using fear may win the point, but little more.

See also Emotions at Work for more related articles.

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