Anticipatory Disappointment at Work

From time to time, we all experience losses in our lives. Just as they vary in significance, so do they vary in the intensity of emotions that accompany them. Among the least of these losses, but perhaps the category most frequent, are disappointments at work. We trust someone with some confidential information, and they prove untrustworthy. Or we're in line for a desirable assignment that ultimately goes to another. Or a major reorganization leads to our own jobs being eliminated. And so on. The possibilities are endless in number and severity.

Conventional disappointment at work is the disappointment we feel after a loss at work. Anticipatory disappointment is the disappointment we feel before the loss has actually occurred.

Anticipatory disappointment can be a source of ongoing unhappiness. It can be debilitating, and tragically unjustified by actual events. This post probably can't help much if you're caught in an intense anticipatory disappointment right now. But if you recognize the pattern in yourself, and you're not trapped in it at the moment, this post might help you avoid a recurrence.

The distinguishing features of anticipatory disappointment

Conventional Anticipatory disappointment can be a source
of ongoing unhappiness. It can be debilitating,
and tragically unjustified by actual events.disappointment — feeling disappointed about an actual event at work — is a healthy response. What can be more concerning, though, is feeling disappointment about an event that hasn't yet occurred. When the feeling of disappointment about events yet to transpire intensifies to levels we might call apprehension, foreboding, trepidation, anger, or rage, the cause for concern becomes clearer. These feelings can be so intense that they affect our performance, our workplace relationships, and even our home lives. When this happens, we are not only anticipating disappointment. We are in a real sense experiencing the disappointment even though it hasn't occurred yet.

Anticipatory disappointment can occur at any time, even if the loss we anticipate never actually materializes. Because there are so many opportunities for disappointment at work, the pattern of anticipatory disappointment can establish itself as a continuous, uninterrupted emotional state, varying only in intensity.

Sources of risk of anticipatory disappointment

Some workplace roles are more likely than others to contribute to this pattern. For example, risk managers have a set of responsibilities that require them to focus on what can go wrong with plans or initiatives. Misapplying that pattern of thinking to their own personal plans can lead to anticipating personal disappointments that haven't actually occurred and might not ever occur.

Whatever your role, though, supervisor behavior can induce feelings of anticipatory disappointment, intentionally or not. For example, a supervisor might make an ambiguous remark in passing within an announcement about a loosely related matter. Because the remark is ambiguous, some can interpret it as a warning of trouble to come. Even though the trouble hasn't arrived, and might not ever arrive, people might begin anticipating the disappointment that would accompany the trouble. In this way, ambiguity can foment anticipatory disappointment.

And of course, ambiguity can be intentional or inadvertent. Abusive cultures (or abusive supervisors) can use loss and anticipation thereof as management tools.

Last words

What we can anticipate disappointment about at work is available in great variety. We can be disappointed about loss of power, loss of influence, unfavorable ratings, or unfavorable assignments. But if this were not enough, there is a meta form of loss that expands the catalog dramatically. That is the failure to gain something desirable. In this meta form, which might be called the something-good-didn't-happen-syndrome, we can anticipate disappointment about something unspecified. The irony here is that the anticipatory disappointment arises not from a specific future event, but from the absence of the prospect of any such event.  Top    Next Issue

Love the work but not the job? Bad boss, long commute, troubling ethical questions, hateful colleague? This ebook looks at what we can do to get more out of life at work. It helps you get moving again! Read Go For It! Sometimes It's Easier If You Run, filled with tips and techniques for putting zing into your work life. Order Now!

Your comments are welcome

About Point Lookout

Thank you for reading this article. I hope you enjoyed it and found it useful, and that you'll consider recommending it to a friend.

This article in its entirety was written by a human being. No machine intelligence was involved in any way.

Point Lookout is a free weekly email newsletter. Browse the archive of past issues. Subscribe for free.

Support Point Lookout by joining the Friends of Point Lookout, as an individual or as an organization.

Do you face a complex interpersonal situation? Send it in, anonymously if you like, and I'll give you my two cents.

Related articles

More articles on Workplace Bullying:

On Being the Canary

Nobody else seems to be concerned about what's going on. You are. Should you raise the issue? What are the risks? What are the risks of not raising the issue?

The Paradox of Structure and Workplace Bullying

Structures of all kinds — organizations, domains of knowledge, cities, whatever — are both enabling and limiting. To gain more of the benefits of structure, while avoiding their limits, it helps to understand this paradox and learn to recognize its effects.

So You Want the Bullying to End: II

If you're the target of a workplace bully, ending the bullying can be an elusive goal. Here are some guidelines for tactics to bring it to a close.

Judging Others

Being "judgmental" is a stance most people recognize as transgressing beyond widely accepted social norms. But what's the harm in judging others? And why do so many people do it so often?

Bullying by Proxy: I

The form of workplace bullying perhaps most often observed involves a bully and a target. Other forms are less obvious. One of these, bullying by proxy, is especially difficult to control, because it so easily evades most anti-bullying policies.

See also Workplace Bullying and Critical Thinking at Work for more related articles.

Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout

Coming May 1: Antipatterns for Time-Constrained Communication: 2

Recognizing just a few patterns that can lead to miscommunication can reduce the incidence of miscommunications. Here's Part 2 of a collection of antipatterns that arise in communication under time pressure, emphasizing those that depend on content. Available here and by RSS on May 1.

And on May 8: Antipatterns for Time-Constrained Communication: 3

Recognizing just a few patterns that can lead to miscommunication can reduce the incidence of problems. Here is Part 3 of a collection of antipatterns that arise in technical communication under time pressure, emphasizing past experiences of participants. Available here and by RSS on May 8.

Coaching services

I offer email and telephone coaching at both corporate and individual rates. Contact Rick for details at rbrendPtoGuFOkTSMQOzxner@ChacEgGqaylUnkmwIkkwoCanyon.com or (650) 787-6475, or toll-free in the continental US at (866) 378-5470.

Get the ebook!

Past issues of Point Lookout are available in six ebooks:

• Get 2001-2 in Geese Don't Land on Twigs (PDF, )
• Get 2003-4 in Why Dogs Wag (PDF, )
• Get 2005-6 in Loopy Things We Do (PDF, )
• Get 2007-8 in Things We Believe That Maybe Aren't So True (PDF, )
• Get 2009-10 in The Questions Not Asked (PDF, )
• Get all of the first twelve years (2001-2012) in The Collected Issues of Point Lookout (PDF, )

Are you a writer, editor or publisher on deadline? Are you looking for an article that will get people talking and get compliments flying your way? You can have 500-1000 words in your inbox in one hour. License any article from this Web site. More info