Maria opened her inbox one morning and found, among the usual meeting announcements, deadline reminders, and spam, a message from Ken. Ken and Maria had had some difficulties, and a low-grade feud had been simmering for some time. So when Maria saw Ken's name, she felt a twinge. His messages were never good news. And this one certainly wasn't.
"I need your input for the quarterly report by Friday," Ken reminded her. That was fine. But he went on, "I hope you'll make the deadline this quarter." Less fine. And he had CC'd her boss. Definitely not fine.
Ken's message to Maria contained a "tweaking CC," which is a CC to someone whom the sender believes has influence or power over the recipient. The tweaking CC is designed to intimidate.
We use the tweaking CC when we want to rattle people, by tattling on them or informing on them [Brenner 2006] When used artfully, the tweaking CC provides cover to the sender, who can claim that the CCs were included only to keep everyone in the loop. Usually, this "FYI veil" is pretty thin — everyone can see right through it, except perhaps the sender.
When you receive a message with a tweaking CC, remember:
- It's possible that the message you're looking at doesn't have a tweaking CC. Maybe the sender added the CCs for some other reason that you don't know about.
- Tweaking CCs hurt. Let yourself feel the hurt. Denying the hurt will only cause you more grief later. Get support if you need it.
- The sender is in pain, too. The sender's self-esteem is low. Senders of tweaking CCs often feel that it would not be enough to simply let you know that something is amiss — it's necessary to tell someone really powerful.
- Taking any action at all within the first hour or two is unwise — you're very likely to make things worse.
- Defending yourself gives credibility to the sender.
- Defending yourself in email is risky because emails are so easily misunderstood.
Senders of
tweaking CCs
often feel
powerlessWhat about Maria? She went for a 20-minute walk. Later, she dropped in on her boss. She explained that she regarded the email from Ken as a tweaking CC. Her boss instantly recognized what she meant by the term, and told her that when he received the message he recognized it as such. He asked Maria if she wanted anything done about Ken's behavior, but Maria declined the offer, saying that since all was well between the two of them, she felt better, and she would find a way to work things out with Ken.
When you receive a message with a tweaking CC, breathe. Center yourself. Recognize your own power — the sender certainly does. Top Next Issue
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Footnotes
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Related articles
More articles on Emotions at Work:
- Dealing with Your Own Anger
- However perceptive we become about what can anger us, we still do get angry once in a while. Here are
four steps to help you deal with your own anger.
- When It Really Counts, Be Positive
- When we express our ideas, we can usually choose between a positive construction and a negative one.
We can advocate for one path, or against another. Even though these choices have nearly identical literal
meanings, positive constructions are safer in tense situations.
- Getting Home in Time for Dinner
- Some of us are fortunate — we work for companies that make sure they have enough people to do
all the work. Yet, we still work too many hours. We overwork ourselves by taking on too much, and then
we work long hours to get it done. If you're an over-worker, what can you do about it?
- The Injured Teammate: I
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handle it? How do you break the news? What does the team need? What do you need?
- Inappropriate Levels of Regard
- The regard we have for others as people is sometimes influenced by the regard we have for the work they
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See also Emotions at Work and Writing and Managing Email for more related articles.
Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout
- Coming April 24: Antipatterns for Time-Constrained Communication: 1
- Knowing how to recognize just a few patterns that can lead to miscommunication can be helpful in reducing the incidence of problems. Here is Part 1 of a collection of communication antipatterns that arise in technical communication under time pressure. Available here and by RSS on April 24.
- And on May 1: Antipatterns for Time-Constrained Communication: 2
- Recognizing just a few patterns that can lead to miscommunication can reduce the incidence of problems. Here is Part 2 of a collection of antipatterns that arise in technical communication under time pressure, emphasizing those that depend on content. Available here and by RSS on May 1.
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