April 24, 2002	Volume 2, Issue 17
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Responding to Rumors

by Rick Brenner

Have you ever heard nasty rumors about yourself? When rumors are damaging, they can hurt our careers, our self-esteem, and even our health. Sadly, our response to rumors often compounds the serious damage they do.

ur first reactions to false, damaging rumors about ourselves are often defensiveness, anger, or even counterattack. Most of these responses are ineffective. We make more constructive choices when we understand rumor dynamics.

Rumors can become more damaging with age

As rumors propagate, they evolve, because each of us applies our own filters to what we see, hear and remember, and some of us give rumors a little spin as we move them along.

Respond quickly. Waiting just gives the rumor time to spread and to evolve. Don't be concerned that your response might add to the spread of the rumor, because the rumor spreads on its own anyway.

Most rumors are credible

When a rumor spreads, it's probably credible, because people are more likely to retell rumors that they themselves believe. The credibility of a rumor depends not on the sources of the information, but on how well the rumor fits with prejudices, stereotypes or widely held images. For example, a rumor about a workplace love affair spreads more rapidly if the couple is known to travel together or lunch together.

To respond, begin by identifying the elements that make the rumor credible. Since the rumor's credibility in part derives from your own behavior, change your behavior.

Packaged rumors spread more rapidly We respond to rumors
more constructively
when we understand
their dynamics

A rumor's "packaging" usually appears as a preamble: "You can't repeat this or tell anyone I told you." We feel a little safer retelling a packaged rumor because we have assurances that the trace path will exclude us. Packaging speeds propagation.

If you hear a packaged rumor, assume that it has spread everywhere. Don't waste time trying to trace it to a source. You can probably guess the source anyway.

Quelling a rumor is very difficult

Nobody controls where a rumor travels or how fast. Controlling a rumor that's already circulating is impossible — once a rumor is loose, it circulates on its own, possibly indefinitely.

Instead of trying to control a rumor, figure out how to get the truth to circulate just as fast as the rumor. Rely on respected third parties to circulate independently verifiable factual information that directly contradicts as much of the rumor as possible.

Respond constructively

If you become defensive, depressed or irate, your behavior will seem to confirm the rumor — you will seem to have been caught in the act.

Acknowledge the existence of the rumor, and address it seriously. Remember always that the people who believe the rumor might feel criticized if you dismiss it as transparently false.

You'll do much better when you can maintain your self-esteem. Make it your first priority — hang on with all your might to the belief that you're a fine person. When you believe in yourself, anything else you do is more likely to succeed.  Top    Next Issue

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Related articles

More articles on Emotions at Work:

You Remind Me of Helen Hunt

At a dinner party I attended recently, Kris said to Suzanne, "You remind me of Helen Hunt." I looked at Suzanne, and sure enough, she did look like Helen Hunt. Later, I noticed that I was seeing Suzanne a little differently. These are the effects of hat hanging. At work, it can damage careers and even businesses.

Working Out on Your Dreadmill

Many of us are experts in risk analysis and risk management. Even the non-specialists among us have developed considerable skill in anticipating troubles and preparing plans for dealing with them. When these habits of thought leak into our personal lives, we pay a high price.

Coping with Problems

How we cope with problems is a choice. When we choose our coping style, we help determine our ability to address the problems we face. Of eight styles we can identify, only one is universally constructive, and we rarely use it.

The Unappreciative Boss

Do you work for a boss who doesn't appreciate you? Do you feel ignored or excessively criticized? If you do, life can be a misery, if you make it so. Or you can work around it. It's up to you to choose.

Are You Micromanaging Yourself?

Feeling distrusted and undervalued, we often attribute the problem to the behavior of others — to the micromanager who might be mistreating us. We tend not to examine our own contributions to the difficulty. Are you micromanaging yourself?

See also Emotions at Work and Effective Communication at Work for more related articles.

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I offer email and telephone coaching at both corporate and individual rates. Contact me for details at rbrenner@ChacoCanyon.com or (617) 491-6289, or toll-free in the continental US at (866) 378-5470.

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