April 24, 2002	Volume 2, Issue 17
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Responding to Rumors

by Rick Brenner

Have you ever heard nasty rumors about yourself? When rumors are damaging, they can hurt our careers, our self-esteem, and even our health. Sadly, our response to rumors often compounds the serious damage they do.

Our first reactions to false, damaging rumors about ourselves are often defensiveness, anger, or even counterattack. Most of these responses are ineffective. We make more constructive choices when we understand rumor dynamics.

Rumors can become more damaging with age

As rumors propagate, they evolve, because each of us applies our own filters to what we see, hear, and remember, and some of us give rumors a little spin as we move them along.

Respond quickly. Waiting just gives the rumor time to spread and to evolve. Don't be concerned that your response might add to the spread of the rumor, because the rumor spreads on its own anyway.

Most rumors are credible

When a rumor spreads, it's probably credible, because people are more likely to retell rumors that they themselves believe. The credibility of a rumor depends not on the sources of the information, but on how well the rumor fits with prejudices, stereotypes, or widely held images. For example, a rumor about a workplace love affair spreads more rapidly if the couple is known to travel together or lunch together.

To respond, begin by identifying the elements that make the rumor credible. Since the rumor's credibility in part derives from your own behavior, change your behavior.

Packaged rumors spread more rapidly

We respond to rumors
more constructively
when we understand
their dynamics

A rumor's "packaging" usually appears as a preamble: "You can't repeat this or tell anyone I told you." We feel a little safer retelling a packaged rumor because we have assurances that the trace path will exclude us. Packaging speeds propagation.

If you hear a packaged rumor, assume that it has spread everywhere. Don't waste time trying to trace it to a source. You can probably guess the source anyway.

Quelling a rumor is very difficult

Nobody controls where a rumor travels or how fast. Controlling a rumor that's already circulating is impossible — once a rumor is loose, it circulates on its own, possibly indefinitely.

Instead of trying to control a rumor, figure out how to get the truth to circulate just as fast as the rumor. Rely on respected third parties to circulate independently verifiable factual information that directly contradicts as much of the rumor as possible.

Respond constructively

If you become defensive, depressed, or irate, your behavior will seem to confirm the rumor — you will seem to have been caught in the act.

Acknowledge the existence of the rumor, and address it seriously. Remember always that the people who believe the rumor might feel criticized if you dismiss it as transparently false.

You'll do much better when you can maintain your self-esteem. Make it your first priority — hang on with all your might to the belief that you're a fine person. When you believe in yourself, anything else you do is more likely to succeed.  Top    Next Issue

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More articles on Emotions at Work:

Never, Ever, Kill the Messenger

If you're a manager in a project-oriented organization, you need to know the full, unvarnished Truth. When you kill a messenger, you deliver a message of your own: Tell me the Truth at your peril. Killing messengers has such predictable results that you have to question any report you receive — good news or bad.

Toxic Conflict in Virtual Teams: Minimizing Authority

Toxic conflict in virtual teams is especially difficult to address, because we bring to it assumptions about causes and remedies that we've acquired in our experience in co-located teams. In this Part II of our exploration we examine how minimizing authority tends to convert ordinary creative conflict into a toxic form.

First Aid for Wounded Conversations

Groups that meet regularly sometimes develop patterns of tense conversations that become obstacles to forward progress. Here are some ideas for releasing the tension.

Social Isolation and Workplace Bullying

Social isolation is a tactic widely used by workplace bullies. What is it? How do bullies use it? Why do bullies use it? What can targets do about it?

Preventing Toxic Conflict: Part I

Conflict resolution skills are certainly useful. Even more advantageous are toxic conflict prevention skills, and skills that keep constructive conflict from turning toxic.

See also Emotions at Work and Effective Communication at Work for more related articles.

Forthcoming Issues of Point Lookout

Coming March 11: Historical Debates at Work

One obstacle to high performance in teams is the historical debate — arguing about who said what and when, or who agreed to what and when. Here are suggestions for ending and preventing historical debates. Available here and by RSS on March 11.

And on March 18: Suspense Is Not Your Friend

Most of us have to talk to other people at work. Whether to peers, subordinates, or superiors, sometimes we must convey information that can be complicated when delivered in full detail. To convey complicated ideas effectively, avoid suspense. Available here and by RSS on March 18.

Coaching services

I offer email and telephone coaching at both corporate and individual rates. Contact Rick for details at rbrenner@ChacoCanyon.com or (617) 491-6289, or toll-free in the continental US at (866) 378-5470.

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Public seminars

Decision-Making for Team Leaders

Effective group decision-making requires far more than knowing how to organize a discussion or take a vote. This program is designed for both new and experienced team leaders or team sponsors, managers, project managers, portfolio managers, program managers, and executives and general managers. It is especially valuable to people who work in organizations that confront fluid environments, in which decisions must be made in the context of uncertainty. Read more about this program. Here are some upcoming dates for this program:

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• Provo, Utah: May 13, Professional Development Conference, Northern Utah Chapter of the Project Management Institute. Register now.
   

The Race to the South Pole: Lessons in Risk Management for Leaders

On 14 December 1911, four men led by Roald Amundsen reached the South Pole. Thirty-five days later, Robert F. Scott and four others followed. Amundsen had won the race to the pole. Amundsen's party returned to base on 26 January 1912. Scott's party perished. As historical drama, why this happened is interesting enough. But to organizational leaders and project managers, the story is fascinating. We'll use the history of this event to explore lessons in risk management and its application to organizational efforts. A fascinating and refreshing look at risk management from the vantage point of history. Read more about this program. Here's an upcoming date for this program:

• Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada: April 16, Professional Development Days, Manitoba Chapter of the Project Management Institute.
   

Changing How We Change: The Essence of Agility

Mastery of the ability to adapt to unpredictable and changing circumstances is one way of understanding the success of Agile methodologies for product development. Applying the principles of Change Mastery, we can provide the analogous benefits in a larger arena. By exploring strategies and tactics for enhancing both the resilience and adaptability of projects and portfolios, we show why agile methodologies are so powerful, and how to extend them beyond product development to efforts of all kinds. Read more about this program. Here's an upcoming date for this program:

• Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada: April 16, Professional Development Days, Manitoba Chapter of the Project Management Institute.
   

Managing in Fluid Environments

Most people now work in environments that can best be characterized as fluid, because they're subject to continual change. We never know what's coming next. In such environments, managing — teams, projects, groups, departments, or the enterprise — often entails moving from surprise to surprise while somehow staying almost on track. It's a nerve-wracking existence. This program provides numerous tools that help managers who work in fluid environments. Read more about this program. Here's an upcoming date for this program:

• Ann Arbor, MI: May 7, Professional Development Day, Michigan Huron Valley Chapter of the Project Management Institute.
   

Ten Project Management Fallacies: The Power of Avoiding Hazards

Most of what we know about managing projects is useful and effective, but some of what we know "just ain't so." Identifying the fallacies of project management reduces risk and enhances your ability to complete projects successfully. Even more important, avoiding these traps can demonstrate the value and power of the project management profession in general, and your personal capabilities in particular. In this program we describe ten of these beliefs. There are almost certainly many more, but these ten are a good start. We'll explore the situations where these fallacies are most likely to expose projects to risk, and suggest techniques for avoiding them. Read more about this program. Here's an upcoming date for this program:

• Provo, Utah: May 12, Professional Development Conference, Northern Utah Chapter of the Project Management Institute. Register now.
   

Cognitive Biases and Workplace Decision-Making

For most of us, making decisions is a large part of what we do at work. And we tend to believe that we make our decisions rationally, except possibly when stressed or hurried. That is a mistaken belief — very few of our decisions are purely rational. In this eye-opening yet entertaining program, Rick Brenner guides you through the fascinating world of cognitive biases, and he'll give concrete tips to help you control the influence of cognitive biases. Read more about this program. Here's an upcoming date for this program:

• Portland Country Club, 11 Foreside Road, Falmouth, ME 04105: May 21, Monthly Meeting, Maine Chapter of the Project Management Institute.