May 24, 2006	Volume 6, Issue 21
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Inner Babble

by Rick Brenner

It goes by various names — self-talk, inner dialog, or internal conversation. Because it is so often disorganized and illogical, I like to call it inner babble. But whatever you call it, it's often misleading, distracting, and unhelpful. How can you recognize inner babble?

nner babble is that stream of speeches, rehearsals, nagging, put-downs, gloating, and other disturbing messages that pass through our brains almost continuously. It isn't the only inner stream of course; others are more organized, more creative, and might even be the source of inspiration now and then.

We each have our own favored patterns of inner babble, and we favor some over others in certain situations. Here are some examples.

• I better not do that. People might think less of me.
• I better do that. If I don't, people might think less of me.
• I better stop doing this. It's too much fun.
• I like this, but I don't deserve it.
• I don't have to do this distasteful task right now. I'll do it later.
• If I do this, the world should reward me.
• I don't have to do this, because the world didn't reward me last time.
• People should behave according to my rules.
• Some parts of my body work, but they need to be larger (smaller).
• Some parts of my body work, but they're in the wrong place.
• I can conceal my physical defects with X.
• I'm an inferior being. Only X can help me.
• X is a shortcut to achieving my dreams.
• I can get X only by giving money to somebody else.

If you're hearing
that success or failure
will follow inevitably,
you probably aren't
thinking logicallyBecause inner babble can be misleading, tiring, and demoralizing, controlling it helps focus your energy on more constructive pursuits. When you suddenly suspect that your thoughts might be inner babble, check for these identifying characteristics:

Absolute language

Concepts appear in stark terms: "my body is inferior;" "I have to do this;" "I must never do that." Everything is either good or bad.

Very little in life is all good, all bad, or always so.

Promises of certain success or predictions of inevitable doom

If you're hearing that success or failure will follow inevitably, you probably aren't thinking logically.

Life just isn't that predictable.

Unverifiable assertions

You find yourself hearing things that might be true, but can't be checked. Just how exactly will X help you achieve your dreams?

Try asking "How?" Often the answer is unavailable.

Money-based "solutions"

Purchased "solutions" rarely last, even if they're real. And there's a good chance that the likely vendor is the originator of the babble message.

Doing what's really needed is much more difficult than spending money, but it has two distinct advantages — it's usually cheaper, and it works.

When we're trying to change, we sometimes see our current behavior as "wrong" or defective, and we can become discouraged if the change is difficult. Beware — changing inner babble can be especially tricky if you get to babbling about your inner babble.  Top    Next Issue

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See also Personal, Team, and Organizational Effectiveness and Critical Thinking for more related articles.

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When we talk, listen, send or read emails, read or write memos, or when we leave or listen to voice mail messages, we're communicating person-to-person. And whenever we communicate person-to-person, we risk being misunderstood, offending others, feeling hurt, and being confused. There are so many ways for things to go wrong that we could never learn how to fix all the problems. A more effective approach avoids problems altogether, or at least minimizes their occurrence. In this very interactive program you'll learn a model of inter-personal communications that can help you stay out of the ditch. In those moments of intense involvement, when we're most likely to slip, you'll have a new tool to use to keep things constructive. Read more about this program. Here are some upcoming dates for this program:

• Des Moines, IA: February 16, Breakfast Meeting, Central Iowa Chapter of The Project Management Institute.
   
• Des Moines, IA: February 16, Lunch Meeting, Central Iowa Chapter of The Project Management Institute.
   
• Houston, Texas: May 8, Monthly Meeting, Houston Chapter of the Project Management Institute.
   
• Houston, Texas: May 9, Monthly Meeting, Houston Chapter of the Project Management Institute.
   

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• Columbia, Missouri: May 17, Full-Day Workshop, Mid Missouri Chapter of the Project Management Institute.
   

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• Rochester, New York: May 24, Professional Development Day, Rochester Chapter of the Project Management Institute.