It goes by various names — self-talk, inner dialog, or internal conversation. Because it is so often disorganized and illogical, I like to call it inner babble. But whatever you call it, it's often misleading, distracting and unhelpful. How can you recognize inner babble?
nner babble is that stream of speeches, rehearsals, nagging, put-downs, gloating and other disturbing messages that pass through our brains almost continuously. It isn't the only inner stream of course; others are more organized, more creative, and might even be the source of inspiration now and then.
We each have our own favored patterns of inner babble, and we favor some over others in certain situations. Here are some examples.
I better not do that. People might think less of me.
I better do that. If I don't, people might think less of me.
I better stop doing this. It's too much fun.
I like this, but I don't deserve it.
I don't have to do this distasteful task right now. I'll do it later.
If I do this, the world should reward me.
I don't have to do this, because the world didn't reward me last time.
People should behave according to my rules.
Some parts of my body work, but they need to be larger (smaller).
Some parts of my body work, but they're in the wrong place.
I can conceal my physical defects with X.
I'm an inferior being. Only X can help me.
X is a shortcut to achieving my dreams.
I can get X only by giving money to somebody else.
If you're hearing that success or failure will follow inevitably, you probably aren't thinking logicallyBecause inner babble can be misleading, tiring and demoralizing, controlling it helps focus your energy on more constructive pursuits. When you suddenly suspect that your thoughts might be inner babble, check for these identifying characteristics:
Absolute language
Concepts appear in stark terms: "my body is inferior;" "I have to do this;" "I must never do that." Everything is either good or bad.
Very little in life is all good, all bad, or always so.
Promises of certain success or predictions of inevitable doom
If you're hearing that success or failure will follow inevitably, you probably aren't thinking logically.
Life just isn't that predictable.
Unverifiable assertions
You find yourself hearing things that might be true, but can't be checked. Just how exactly will X help you achieve your dreams?
Try asking "How?" Often the answer is unavailable.
Money-based "solutions"
Purchased "solutions" rarely last, even if they're real. And there's a good chance that the likely vendor is the originator of the babble message.
Doing what's really needed is much more difficult than spending money, but it has two distinct advantages — it's usually cheaper, and it works.
When we're trying to change, we sometimes see our current behavior as "wrong" or defective, and we can become discouraged if the change is difficult. Beware — changing inner babble can be especially tricky if you get to babbling about your inner babble. TopNext Issue
The article you've been reading is an archived issue of Point Lookout, my weekly newsletter. I've been publishing it since January, 2001, free to all subscribers, over the Web, and via RSS. You can help keep it free by donating either as an individual or as an organization. You'll receive in return my sincere thanks — and the comfort of knowing that you've helped to propagate insights and perspectives that can help make our workplaces a little more human-friendly. More info
At any time, without warning, you can find yourself in a meeting that boils over. Sometimes tempers rise, then voices rise, and then people yell and scream. What can a team do when meetings threaten to boil over — and when they do?
Since we spend so much of our waking lives in our offices, it's surprising how few of us take control of our immediate surroundings. If you do — if you make your space uniquely yours — you'll feel better about the time you spend at work.
As a leader you carry a heavy burden. You're accountable for everything from employee development to meeting organizational objectives, and many of these responsibilities conflict. Life is tough enough, but most of us pile on a load of over-generalized rules of work life — a load too heavy for anyone to bear.
We spend a lot of time and emotional energy in meetings, much of it engaged in any of dozens of ritualized games. Here's Part I of a little catalog of some of our favorites, and what we can do about them.
We spend a lot of time and emotional energy in meetings, much of it engaged in any of dozens of ritualized games. Here's Part IV of a little catalog of some of our favorites, and what we could do about them.
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Organizational Politics for People Who Hate Politics
Have you ever felt powerless to implement an important new idea? Have you ever been "blind-sided" at a meeting? Have you ever lost two good employees because you could find no way to keep them from attacking each other? These are some of the issues of organizational politics. Many of us have become enmeshed in them from time to time, but we've also known some people who seem to be able to engage and prosper. How is that done? We'll inventory the challenges of organizational politics, and provide tools for anticipating and addressing them. The focus of this program is practical — attendees learn concrete techniques for dealing with the problems that arise in workplace politics, while keeping their integrity intact. Read more about this program. Here are some upcoming dates for this program:
Adopting agile approaches to software development carries risk. If you've discovered some of the problems for yourself, or if you've heard horror stories from others, you know some of the risks. This session explores the nature of the risks of agile adoption. We'll explore the top three risk factors that tangle agile initiatives, and examine relevant mitigation strategies. Most organizations err by starting with training. A more constructive approach with faster return on investment is organic agile capability development. We'll discuss how you can grow organizational agile capability organically by balancing training, coaching and restructuring. Faulty or misleading agile capability indicators are a second pitfall. Although there is no standard measure of agility yet, we'll show you how to focus on what matters to your business to achieve the full promise of agile methods. Finally, we'll explore the importance of measurement methodology and how you set up expectations around budget and schedule targets. By looking at what has gone wrong in agile adoption initiatives, we'll help you prevent the foreseeable problems, and mitigate the risks of the unforeseeable ones. With Nancy Van Schooenderwoert. Here's an upcoming date for this program:
Most of us can assess technological risks, but risks related to human behavior tend to resist our best efforts. This session provides a framework for evaluating risks related to the behavior of individuals, teams, organizations and people generally. Human-centered risk differs from technological or market risk, because objective evaluation requires acknowledging personal and organizational limitations and failures. Since some of those limitations and failures might apply to the people assessing the risks, or to their superiors, there's a tendency to deny them or to explain them away. Our approach examines capability, organization, context, risk mitigation, and workplace politics. It has tools for guiding the assessment and management of human-centered risk, and we show how to extend these tools to suit your situation. You'll learn how to identify sources of risk in human behavior; recognize systemic and individual barriers to acknowledging risk; assess the effects of organizational turbulence; determine the risk associated with inappropriate internal risk transfer; estimate the effects of team dysfunction, toxic conflict and turnover; and measure the impact of workplace politics. Read more about this program. Here's an upcoming date for this program:
Managing global or dispersed teams is challenging — miscommunications, misunderstandings, and interpersonal conflict all thrive in the typical environment of the distributed team. And they're even more common in global teams, because of time-zone offsets and language and cultural differences. We'll inventory the challenges distributed and global teams face, and provide tools for anticipating and addressing them. The focus of this program is practical — attendees will learn concrete techniques for preventing and dealing with the problems that accompany global and distributed teams. Read more about this program. Here's an upcoming date for this program:
What do you do when your team can't make critical decisions? Or worse, when they make a decision, what do you do when they open it up again next week? Making good decisions and facilitating group decisions are both critical skills for project managers. In this revealing and interactive program, I demonstrate a model of decision-making that captures the internal conflicts we all feel when we make difficult decisions. With a better understanding of how we resolve conflicting priorities, we not only become more skilled at making decisions, but we learn how to make decisions that "stick." Read more about this program. Here's an upcoming date for this program:
The Politics of Meetings for People Who Hate Politics
There's a lot more to running an effective meeting than having the right room, the right equipment, and the right people. With meetings, the whole really is more than the sum of its parts. How the parts interact with each other and with external elements is as important as the parts themselves. And those interactions are the essence of politics for meetings. This program explores techniques for leading meetings that are based on understanding political interactions, and using that knowledge effectively to meet organizational goals. Read more about this program. Here's an upcoming date for this program:
Person-to-Person Communication for Project Managers
When we talk, listen, send or read emails, read or write memos, or when we leave or listen to voice mail messages, we're communicating person-to-person. And whenever we communicate person-to-person, we risk being misunderstood, offending others, feeling hurt, and being confused. There are so many ways for things to go wrong that we could never learn how to fix all the problems. A more effective approach avoids problems altogether, or at least minimizes their occurrence. In this very interactive program you'll learn a model of inter-personal communications that can help you stay out of the ditch. In those moments of intense involvement, when we're most likely to slip, you'll have a new tool to use to keep things constructive. Read more about this program. Here are some upcoming dates for this program:
In October, increase awareness of workplace politics, and learn how to convert destructive politics to creative politics. Order the Workplace Politics Awareness Month Kit during October at the special price of USD 29.95 and save USD 10.00! Check it out!
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Are you doing work you love? Are you less in love with the job? Bad boss, long commute, troubling ethical questions, hateful colleague? Read Go For It! Sometimes It's Easier If You Run to learn what we can do when we love the work but not the job. It helps you get moving again!
The key to managing virtual or global teams is creating a sense of team despite the obstacles of separation. Read my tips booklet, 303 Tips for Virtual and Global Teams, to learn how to make your virtual global team sing. Newly revised and updated for 2008 with 101 new tips! Check it out!
Are you managing a change effort that faces rampant cynicism, passive non-cooperation, or maybe even outright revolt? Read 101 Tips for Managing Change to learn how to plan and execute your change efforts to inspire real, passionate support. Check it out!
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Do you ever wonder if all these meetings are really necessary? (They aren't) Or whether there isn't some better way to get this work done? (There is) Read 101 Tips for Effective Meetings to learn how to make meetings more productive — and more rare. Check it out!
Exchange your "personal trade secrets" — the tips, tricks and techniques that make you an ace — with other aces, anonymously. Visit the Library of Personal Trade Secrets.
nner babble is that stream of speeches, rehearsals, nagging, put-downs, gloating and other disturbing messages that pass through our brains almost continuously. It isn't the only inner stream of course; others are more organized, more creative, and might even be the source of inspiration now and then.
We each have our own favored patterns of inner babble, and we favor some over others in certain situations. Here are some examples.
Top 
Next IssueThe article you've been reading is an archived issue of Point Lookout, my weekly newsletter. I've been publishing it since January, 2001, free to all subscribers, over the Web, and via RSS. You can help keep it free by donating either as an individual or as an organization. You'll receive in return my sincere thanks — and the comfort of knowing that you've helped to propagate insights and perspectives that can help make our workplaces a little more human-friendly. More info
When Meetings Boil Over
Own Your Space
Heavy Burdens: Should, Always, Must and Never
Games for Meetings: Part I
Games for Meetings: Part IV
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In October, increase awareness of workplace politics, and learn how to convert destructive politics to creative politics. Order the Workplace Politics Awareness Month Kit during October at the special price of USD 29.95 and save USD 10.00! Check it out!
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Are you doing work you love? Are you less in love with the job? Bad boss, long commute, troubling ethical questions, hateful colleague? Read Go For It! Sometimes It's Easier If You Run to learn what we can do when we love the work but not the job. It helps you get moving again!
The key to managing virtual or global teams is creating a sense of team despite the obstacles of separation. Read my tips booklet, 303 Tips for Virtual and Global Teams, to learn how to make your virtual global team sing. Newly revised and updated for 2008 with 101 new tips! Check it out!
Are you managing a change effort that faces rampant cynicism, passive non-cooperation, or maybe even outright revolt? Read 101 Tips for Managing Change to learn how to plan and execute your change efforts to inspire real, passionate support. Check it out!
A Tip a Day arrives by email, or by Yahoo! Widget, each business day. It's 20 to 30 words at most, and gives you a new perspective on the hassles and rewards of work life. Most tips also contain links to related articles. Free!
Do you ever wonder if all these meetings are really necessary? (They aren't) Or whether there isn't some better way to get this work done? (There is) Read 101 Tips for Effective Meetings to learn how to make meetings more productive — and more rare. Check it out!
